: Re: Facial expressions as part of dialogue - getting rid of a verbal tic I noticed a verbal tic in my writing: He looked surprised He looked confused He looked abashed Sometimes
For me, words like "surprised", "confused", and "abashed" are like shorthand, a quick way to summarize and perhaps when you are writing a first draft its easy to put these kinds of things into your prose because to do otherwise might break your train of thought or slow you down. Picking it up in the editing process seems like a fine way to change these (if you choose).
In each case, I think you can choose to either drop these expressions (allowing the reader to infer and providing snappier dialog), or replace them with something more descriptive. Perhaps there are other ways in which you can express these summarized emotions:
Surprise:
The prince took a step back.
The prince raised his eyebrow.
Confused:
The prince looked around the room (in confusion)
The prince scratched his temple.
Abashed:
The prince went red.
The prince began to sweat.
The prince wiped the sweat from his face.
The prince hid his face in embarrassment.
Of course, if you are making such substitutions you will want to maintain your own voice, and maintain a consistent psychic distance throughout your text. In general, I'd say if you believe the words to be unnecessary (or not adding to the experience) they should be changed or removed.
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