I think you mix things up here. Present tense does not build immediacy, immediacy should be there if you use present tense. At least I expect it when present tense is used.

As Kate mentions the sense of immediacy is independent of the used tense. But if you use present tense, your writing should better have this sense. Just using present tense will not add it.

Though the tense does matter in combination with your viewpoint. You have to be consistent to avoid puzzling the reader.

As an example let me use a thriller playing in a train (for your journey ;). There is a murder committed in the compartment next to the person watching the scenery.

Using third person view (omniscient or not is only a matter of detail here) you can use present tense and write:

Sybil watches the mountains of Montana. In the compartment next to her a man slaughters a woman.

No problem with that (besides missing suspension).

First person, present tense:

I watch the mountain ranges of Montana while the guy in the next compartment is slashing his girl-friend.

Why do you know that? How could the first person narrator know what happens in the other compartment, or that it is his girl-friend and not his stepmother (or maybe both with one kill)?

For an opening scene of a book you can use this, if you answer these questions during the book. Otherwise it is an inconsistency in your perspective.

But now we try that with past tense:

He ripped apart her chest, while I was watching the snow on the shiny peaks of Montana. When I found the blood beneath the door one hour later, he had already left the train.

Using past tense this trick is possible, because it's plausible that the narrator knows more afterwards than he did when the crime happened. If it is good style or not, I leave open for discussion (well, I like it).

When you stay consistent, it does not matter if you use present tense or not. A deeper impact is not created by tense.

---

(0)

Login to post a comment!