: Re: Little disjointed scenes My MC is going through boot camp. Physically and mentally, he goes from high-school boy to soldier prepared for combat. Along the way there's struggles, there's new friendships

@LarsenBagley300

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Question: How to tie 'choppy' short scenes together?

Answer: Tie them together with an overarching 'internal journey' that defines this character uniquely and carries through all the lessons.

It sounds as if you are concerned about the lengths of your scenes, and also the choppy feel of them. You've compared your character's situations to Rowling's writing of Harry's first year at Hogwarts.

But part of what tied Harry's early lessons together were his wonder at the discovery of a magical world. A few weeks earlier, he had no idea of magic or the possibility of escaping the Dursleys, and now he lives in a magic castle with flying brooms, magic wands, and people who can transfigure into animals. And he has a power that the Dursleys never will! Everyone around him takes magic for granted. He experiences wonder at every turn, and so do we as the reader.

So. What is the emotion that your character feels throughout bootcamp (ideally that we readers also want to feel)? It's probably not wonder, like Harry feels, but maybe success at small victories. Or a sense of getting stronger (maybe your character has a way to measure his success and strength), perhaps he gains respect from his 'classmates,' or maybe he feels sheer relief at breaking free from the constraints of the world he left.

You can lengthen the scenes by embellishing the internal emotions and reflection of your character. Quiet moments. Little asides, maybe with a new 'loyal best friend' or mentor--like that fantastic scene in Lord of the Rings:FOTR when Gandalf and Frodo are quietly talking about what is/isn't possible in life. (We can't choose our challenges, only how we face them ... or something like this).

I think if you tie the scenes together with an emotional journey and theme, and deepen the reflection and internal monologuing of your main character, you'll feel that your scenes cohere into something really nice.

Edit to add: I use a diary in 3rd limited. I have the PoV character find the diary of the non-PoV character and read it. In your case, depending on what you wish to reveal, your PoV character can find someone else's diary. They write about (whatever)--maybe the ten-mile run that day and how easy it had been for them. The PoV character reflects--that it hadn't been easy at all, and he could feel the soreness creeping into his muscles already. Maybe he'd tripped and badly gashed his arm which would make pushups damn near impossible, but if he can't keep pace--even with a gashed arm--the sergeant will double the number.

Then he turns the page and reads another entry, and reflects again.

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