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Topic : Re: Replacing adverbs I understand the reasons so many people have dislike for adverbs in writing, but I'm struggling with how to find a real balance. For example, these adverbs can die: "He ran - selfpublishingguru.com

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You're on the right track. Replace the verb and adverb construction with a more exact verb.

Describe what your characters are doing instead of using an adverb. Your characters' actions show what an adverb would tell.

"He leaned in conspiratorially."

becomes

"He looked over his shoulder, then leaned in."

"She stood alone at the bar."

becomes

"She stood at the bar, with an empty cocktail glass and a dirty ashtray her only companions."

or

"She stood at the bar, a lonely figure in black."

or

"She stood at the deserted bar."

"She gradually regained her composure."

becomes

"She teetered on the edge of panic for a few endless moments, then forced herself to regain her composure."

or, describe what she is doing while she regains her composure.

"She brought her cigarette to her lips again and again, only to let it fall without taking a drag. Her cherry red lipstick stained the filter of the long menthol. She paced between the phone and sofa, desperate to collapse into the overstuffed cushions but too scared to the leave the phone. She stopped halfway to the phone and rubbed her eyes.

"I can do this. I have to do this." she whispered.

Closing her eyes brought a comforting darkness. She took a deep breath and the color began to return to her cheeks.

or, for a shorter example,

"She glowered at him and filled her lungs with enough air for an epic screech, but instead of screeching she compressed her lips in a grim line. Her complexion mellowed from a purplish hue to a somewhat less outraged red."


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