bell notificationshomepageloginNewPostedit profile

Topic : Is this imagery? Would this small paragraph in my short story be considered as imagery? (Rose is looking for a painting) Rose and Mr. Howard stepped inside. There were cobwebs everywhere. - selfpublishingguru.com

10.02% popularity

Would this small paragraph in my short story be considered as imagery? (Rose is looking for a painting)

Rose and Mr. Howard stepped inside. There were cobwebs everywhere.
Lots and lots of old furniture were everywhere. Torn sofas, shattered
glass, and pieces of paper that looked like bills were scrambled
everywhere, but no painting in sight.


Load Full (2)

Login to follow topic

More posts by @Sent2472441

2 Comments

Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best

10% popularity

It is but don’t stop there. As Gwendolyn mentioned, involve more senses. It creates the impression of being in the scene.

Good imagery is the 3D of literature and draws you into the fictional world, facilitating immersion.

Did the cobwebs caress her cheek as she passed through the doorway? Might there be a musty scent in the unused home? Does the light stream through the broken window, catching the dance of dust in the air? Do the crumpled bills rustle like autumn leaves as they enter the room?

Is Rose disappointed when she finds nothing? Is she hoping it will be valuable or is it a family heirloom and of little intrinsic value?

Imagine yourself there, be Rose and describe what you perceive.

It is a balance - create the scene and put us there, but don’t get bogged down in describing minor details and forget that she is looking for a painting.


Load Full (0)

10% popularity

Imagery is really important for grounding the reader - putting them in the scene with your characters. In this paragraph, you've started to do that, but I think you can take the imagery farther. As a reader, I want my feet firmly planted next to Rose while she's entering that house.

Here are some ideas and questions to ask that might help you get started:

Try and cover multiple senses. Don't say only what they see ... what do they feel, smell, hear? How would you describe how an old house smells? Can she hear mice, or is it dead silent?
Use figures of speech to describe the items they using similes or metaphors. What does the torn sofa look like? Do the scattered pieces of paper only make her think of bills, or could it be something else?
Think about the little things that only your character Rose would notice - does she notice the cobwebs first because she is very cleanly? Understanding a character also helps with the surrounding imagery and general immersion for the reader.

Remember: Writing takes a lot of practice! The best way to get more confident in your writing is to write, re-write, and write some more :)


Load Full (0)

Back to top