: How do I introduce this character? I am writing a story these days and I want to introduce a character who is similar to a king. This character is introduced with heavy announcements by his

@Fox6458700

Posted in: #Characters #Introduction #Plot #Style

I am writing a story these days and I want to introduce a character who is similar to a king. This character is introduced with heavy announcements by his minions who scream out words of admiration and basically annoy everyone in their path. How do I introduce the character in such a way that the reader is annoyed by the minions presence while also making the protagonist also personally feel annoyed by the nuisance.

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@Sue2132873

@Sue2132873

Your character is used to this fanfare and has witnessed it from early childhood. He is probably either deaf to it now, it being as noticeable as the air he breathes, or so tired of it that he wishes it were not part of his life.

Royalty is a ritual, more for the onlookers than the participants. Said royal knows that he cannot walk down the street without this procession and his devoted servants whose sole purpose is to maintain the honour and dignity of the throne - who can sometimes suffocate the occupant of that throne.

Perhaps he is a younger king and is known to sneak out of the palace and pull a Henry V kind of stunt, though once Henry ceased to be Prince Hal, the fun was curtailed.

Cyn has good advice. Even the titles can drone on seemingly forever ‘Defender of the Faith, Lord of the Eastern Marches, Duke of York....’ and that is without the fawning praise of your minions.

The courtiers will do what courtiers do and it is difficult for the king whose court it is to escape the trap of royal protocol. Every minute scheduled, no time to oneself to think unless they schedule that too.


He opened his eyes, a new morning and a glorious day. There was Lord
Harcourt holding his robe - would rather look out the window and see
the world beyond, but such would not happen today.

Stepping into his robe, he saw Lord Robert come forward, still nervous at his
recent elevation to the king’s personal staff.

“Majesty, you have the Council Lords at two, an emissary from Spain
regarding your bride, the Bishop will see you for breakfast - sorry,
m’lord, but he insisted.”

“Next time, Robert, tell his Grace that I require solitude during my
meals - a precautionary
measure.”

“Yes, Majesty. There is a market and it was requested that you be seen
by your people.”

Not that again. Another chant of the litany of his titles - why were
there twenty? If only his grandfather had been less ambitious there
would only be fifteen. “A procession?”

“Yes, sire. It is considered advisable.”

“By whom?”

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@Sue2132873

@Sue2132873

Use the narrator as a tool to avoid annoying the reader. The narrator controls the flow of information.

Have the minions do their thing. Once. Then...


The crowd clapped politely as the ruler walked by. The minions
started up again with the "isn't he amazing" bit and the clapping
began to fade. The ruler walked on. Couldn't they at least go far
enough so that no one's heard it already? This time the ruler
managed about 15 feet before the drone of his accomplishments began
again. He felt like running but forced himself to stay a few feet
behind his announcers. "His great intelligence and thoughtfulness..."
God save me, he thought. Maybe I can duck out behind that food stand.


You don't want to actually annoy your readers. You want your readers to realize how annoying those characters are. Big difference.

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@Kevin153

@Kevin153

Annoying the reader is almost never a good strategy. So your focus should be on annoying the protagonist. That, in turn, is a matter of developing your protagonist's personality and goals in such a way that the minions intrude on it. Maybe he just doesn't like self-important blowhards. Or maybe he's got places he needs to be, and the procession is holding him up. Or he suspects the king of being an imposter.

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