: Re: Increasing the flow in descriptions of a sequence of events Thomas appeared behind Daniel and shook him by the neck, which brought him down to his knees. Thomas kicked him and then kicked

There's no point of view here, which makes it difficult to care about, or even follow. (That's also probably why you initially confused the characters.) It's just a series of events. You don't have to have a point of view character, but you need to have a point of view.

I'd try writing three versions of this. One from Thomas' POV, one from Daniel's, and one from a third person watching from inside the room (they can all be written in third person, but they should follow one person's perspective, thoughts, mood, and so forth). I think you'll find it has a lot more flow.

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: How to punctuate dialogue tags with action descriptions Someone told me that it's incorrect or outdated punctuation to put a comma after "said" in dialogue tags such as the following (from an

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: Re: Increasing the flow in descriptions of a sequence of events Thomas appeared behind Daniel and shook him by the neck, which brought him down to his knees. Thomas kicked him and then kicked

More posts by @Samaraweera193

: How to punctuate dialogue tags with action descriptions Someone told me that it's incorrect or outdated punctuation to put a comma after "said" in dialogue tags such as the following (from an

: Generally, the answer to a "can I do this" question is usually, "yes, it just introduces extra challenges." In this case, you won't have the typical advantages of a story with an unmasked

: Publish the same book under two names I have self-published books under a name that I used before moving to another country, where I partially changed my name. I'd like to know if I could

: I am not a writer so please don't expect a great answer, but think of characters Kristen Wiig played on Saturday Night Live (SNL). Some of the most annoying characters she played were adored

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