: Re: How to write a strong villain who isn't really present? I've been working on a quite large story for a while now, but going through my drafts I noticed one weakness: My villains are very

@Gretchen741

Vote Up Vote Down

A governor of any kind will be reflected in the actions of his/her government.

This for instance is what we know about Fernan III of Palis:

The people nickname him Fernan the Fool;
When he sends a harald to the market to make a proclamation, a chararacter wonders what the plausibility that Fernan has something important to say;
A character, in a bar discussion, calls him "imbecile" and expresses the wish that his daughter replaces him soon;
As the Fernan has just declared war on Ossin, this same character, who is obviously opposed to that war, wonders if a defeat in the war would not be welcome, as it probably would force Fernan to resign;
Another character objects that since the Ossians were clearly provoking Palis, Fernan had no choice but to declare war, lest the military would depose him;
A main character comments that Fernan got tired of his nickname of Fernan the Fool and declared war to get it changed to Fernan the Butcher;
Another important character, an intermediate leader in a criminal ring, says "we are at war, or rather, Fernan the Fool is at war" and immediately calls it a "crazy and lost war". She then explains to the victim of her racket scheme that she is coming early to get to the money before the tax collectors on behalf of the royal government can do their job;
At a military conference to organise the war, Fernan is absent, but there is a portrait of him as a young man on a wall, in military garb, wearing crown and sceptre;
The military leader at such meeting explains to her subordinates that the High Command has not defined the objectives of the war, and that she asked the king, who wasn't able to answer either;
The general then takes the logical conclusion: the High Command wants a defeat, in order to justify the toppling of the king. One of the colonels then asks if the king is aware of that. The general retorts that no, he isn't, and that she wouldn't warn him of it, because he wouldn't believe, and might even arrest her for such an information;
The king decided against a draft, preferring to promise freedom for prisoners who volunteer for the war; it is clear that he does so on the counsel of the commander of the Army;
The same thief previously cited reports to her superiors that there is general discontent against the king, against the war, and against several military commanders (not the one referred above), and that there is widespread belief that the amnesty proposed by the king will not be honoured, or that it was proposed because the king believes his soldiers will be massacred;
The ringleader of the racket then instructs the thief to spread hate against the king;
The general cited above remarks to one of the colonels that she needs to talk to the king, in order to explain her plans, and that it won't be an easy task;
She then asks the colonel if she thinks storming a certain fortress, Evelenia, will be possible in a short time. The colonel answers she thinks not, moreso because they won't have sappers with them. And the general retorts that she will try to change the king's mind on that subject, even though it may be more difficult than storming Evelenia.

Fernan never really appears, but I think I managed to establish that he is not really bright, but stubborn, weak, indecisive, and unable to deal with his counselours, and that his subjects despise more than hate him.

I suppose you can do something similar; people will comment on the merits and demerits of the ruler - or, if they are too afraid to talk against him, they will hint on that by their reactions to the military, police, other State agents, or even to other commoners that they might fear are spies or informers.

(0)

Login to post a comment!