: Re: Does detail obscure or enhance action? I have two versions of a pivotal scene in my novel (both already written). My SP is a rather impulsive young woman who is learning to be a bit less

@Samaraweera193

Personally, I would go for the short version.

I may change my mind if I actually read them, as the longer version might be heartbreakingly poignant.

However, my opinion with the current information is based on:


It's an action scene, so you shouldn't slow it down with contemplation
This contemplation about who she is strikes me as a bit suspect anyway and at risk of telling the readers something they will (or should be able to) intuit / understand for themselves


On a different note

I'm a bit confused about one of the premises of your question, which may only reflect the question, but may reflect larger issues in your story.

You say she's learning to be less of a hothead, but then to demonstrate this she instinctively jumps in front of a bullet? Huh?

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