: Re: Improving Ad Script I am looking for some advice on how to improve a short script that I have for an advertisement/introduction video. I have been revising this for two months now. I have

@Debbie451

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If this is a script being read over a video, then use #1 , as #2 doesn't give enough information. It makes me want to hunt around and find actual directions.

Suggested fixes:

I've never heard "chance" being used as a verb to mean "gamble." Try
"wager" the first time and "the more points you bet" the second.
"All of our videos are short, entertaining, and are
welcome open to your comments." (No reason to use "of" after "all." One of my pet peeves.)
Query: Do you get a point just for sharing the link, or only if
your friend also clicks on it?
Nitpick: "No waiting [semi-colon, not comma] our online store..."
"in our weekly lottery to possibly win for a
chance to win that week’s grand prize." (This particular split
infinitive sounds awkward and is easily reworded.)

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