: Re: Are these reasonable traits for someone with autism? A little info as to the story: 'Lily' was abandoned when she was young. She is a Deviant, a group of people who are born with powers,

@Annie587

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It's great that you are asking this question here. We have many questions that are a form of "How should I write about a group or culture that I'm not a part of…?" Awareness, sensitivity, research and accuracy are all great motives for creating a better character.

I see you've already got a few good answers so I'll address this writer-to-writer and offer you some writer-oriented ways to think about your own question.

my story is about 'deviants', not so subtle allegory for poc/queer/disability.

Valid.

In character development these are called handicaps. They are issues that put them at odds with society and make them outsiders. More important, these are traits they cannot change. They aren't just "quirks" they are long-standing wounds, and often blindspots. Your character won't always be a "victim" of their handicap, they may have developed sophisticated mechanisms of compensating, coping, and avoiding. Handicaps can help with underdog sympathy, we accept this character didn't choose the situation and we will accept they are starting from a less fair position, as long as they don't violate certain other protagonist rules that cross the line to unredeemable.

Some of these "coping mechanisms" will help the character, and some of them will actually work against the character as a flaw. Flaws are different from handicaps because the character created the problem themselves, or they perpetuate the problem by refusing to deal with the underlying issue. Narratively, flaws are approached differently. These are things that the character needs to change to "win", or to fulfill their character arc. When the protagonist fails to address their flaws the story is typically a tragedy with a negative character arc.

You'll benefit from separating your character's flaws and handicaps, so you understand how to address each. It's clear from your question that you don't want to offend, but as a writer you should also ask what your story gains from each of these traits. You'll have a discovery phase where the characters flaws and handicaps might all look alike, but your story will also have certain rules: Handicaps are not their fault but still work as obstacles to the goal. The reader needs to root for the character in these instances. Flaws look like obstacles to the character, but to the reader they look like something the character needs to fix before they deserve to succeed.

Let's look at your examples from a strictly narrative, flaw vs handicap perspective:

uncomfortable with crowds this sounds like a flaw that comes from a handicap. The handicap is that the character has problems focusing attention, the flaw is that she's learned to avoid crowds. If she suffers through a crowd trying to stay focused, she's dealing with a handicap. If she refuses to go to the marketplace where she can easily get help, this is more like a flaw.
can't stand slimy texture or squelching sounds I don't see how this will effect her story. Let's call it a handicap because I can imagine it adding stress to an otherwise normal interaction.
She is verbal, but her words are usually spare and short. I'd say this is probably a bit of both. It's going to work like a handicap most times, but there will be times where she communicates in few words because she doesn't want to be misunderstood, but she'll have to explain herself better to avoid the very thing she doesn't want – that's a flaw.
she has issues understanding body language, tone handicap
she can't help but steal Yikes! This is very definitely a flaw! You do not want to imply that everyone who is autistic is also a thief. Again the trick is that she might justify it by thinking it's her handicap, but no one else (including the reader) is going to see it as anything but a flaw.

As a textbook example of why you want to separate flaws from handicaps, pretend we have a young woman who is confined to a wheelchair after a terrible accident. Doctors say she will never walk again – clearly a handicap. But the love of her life comes along, and she is such a good person, that one day she stands up and walks! Love has cured her handicap! It sounds like she suffered from "old movie disease", that wasn't a realistic handicap, it was just there to pull some sympathy strings. Everyone should be offended!

In a different story, an old man was raised in a racist, sexist culture. Circumstances force him to examine his long-held beliefs. He resists, but a sort of friendship develops where he chooses to see the others as "just people". He's not marching in any parade, but his actions soften even if he doesn't really change. Here, his upbringing is treated more like a handicap. He learns to cope, even if he isn't actually cured. The story gives us clues that the upbringing isn't his personal flaw, but his behavior is, and can be changed.

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