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at what point to ask for constructive critisism.
It depends on how you write. Some people plot out their novels in great detail, every foreshadowing, plot turn and twist. They know their characters backward and forward, and everything that will change about them during the story. So when they are done with Chapter One, and have finished X drafts of it, Chapter One is done forever. If that is how you write, then you might as well get feedback on each Chapter as you finish it.
I don't write like that, I am a discovery writer. I typically write at least two openings, in my current story I wrote four. I invent my plot as I go, my additional characters, I may delete them or replace them. I begin with a protagonist I know better than others, but even she may get some personality changes, I'll find out when I put her in new situations.
So I don't seek feedback until I am DONE with the story. Because until then, I might change any part of it! Fortunately, I have friends that think I write well, they know I can finish a novel and it will feel like a novel, and they don't mind reading the whole thing in their spare time.
I will also note that the most important parts you need reviewed are the opening (first 10 pages, first 25 pages) and the climax near the end (the resolution of the protagonist's major problem, which is not necessarily in the last chapter). You don't need detailed critique of the middle, though you might get it. Listen to it.
About asking for constructive criticism: I tell my readers I am looking for negative feedback much more than positive feedback, the whole point is to help me find problems I was too close to see, or too dumb to realize. So no hurt feelings on my part, I want a story that works more than I want any kind of polite praise. I want them to know the next step is sending it to a stranger, likely a brutal agent that rejects 90% of what she reads. So we want to fix any problems before that happens, not learn about them only after I've burned my best prospects.
That is how people that don't want to hurt your feelings actually hurt your chances of success instead.
On answering criticism: I don't reject it, even if they are completely, totally, utterly wrong and don't get it. Either they are right, or I will look at it and see if I can find a solution.
It is hard enough for people to tell me honestly they don't like what I wrote, without getting punished for it by me calling them an ignorant slut reading at the grade level of a Labrador retriever.
Sometimes their own morality or politics conflicts with mine, sometimes their criticism arises from my failure to communicate clearly. Inconsistency is a problem to solve, poor communication is, but a difference in morality or politics or world view is not. Let 'em rant, don't make excuses or try to explain what you meant, don't get in an argument.
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