: Re: Is straight-up writing someone's opinions telling? When I first learned about the "show don't tell" guideline, I believe it applied to everything. I have now learned there are many grey areas,
Agree with Galastel's answer, most writing "rules" are just guides so you understand the general effect on the reader.
However, just picking the one that "feels natural" isn't very objective, so I'll try to be specific how each version changes the effect on the reader.
Breaking the "rule" is sometimes how you signal subtext that changes the meaning.
Visa squared his shoulders, Reino respected confidence.
The unspoken subtext is that Reino is influenced by appearances. He is willing to follow someone who simply fakes it with confidence. Visa's pretty sure about Reino. As a reader, I am not questioning it.
(See Jane Austen's Free Indirect Speech for how to reveal character bias when their opinion is stated as a "fact" by the narrator.)
He squared his shoulders. This'll get him to listen to me. He respects
confidence.
In this case, you draw attention that this is just Visa's opinion of Reino. You are signaling to the reader that Visa might be wrong, or at the very least that Visa is self-consciously trying to manipulate Reino. The subtext shifts, and I am more suspicious of Visa than Reino.
He squared his shoulders. Reino's forehead wrinkled as his eyebrows
rose, looking at his apprentice's new posture.
I honestly get nothing from this passage. Body parts are moving, but you are not telling me what it means so it is cold and abstract. I am sort of forgetting it as I read because it feels like modern dance choreography that doesn't connect to any clear emotions or meaning.
Beware of filter words where the reader observes an observer. It creates emotional distance between the reader and the characters.
Showing actions without telling us their meaning works when the character's motions are unambiguous, and their emotions are deliberately being obscured:
She left her unfinished drink on the bar and quickly walked away. She didn't look back.
Here the character's motions are unambiguous. We don't know exactly what she's thinking because she doesn't want other characters to know either. The reader has a similar experience to any observer in the scene. We infer her emotions from her actions.
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