: Re: My scenes seem too fast I’m having issues ‘cause while I’m in the process of writing I think my style has enough length to it, but when I go back and read my work it feels extremely

@Deb2945533

Vote Up Vote Down

You say that in your head there are pauses in the dialogue, but in the text they just aren't there. Well then, insert the pauses.

‘How terrifying!’ said Frodo. There was another long silence. The sound of Sam Gamgee cutting the lawn came in from the garden.
‘How long have you known this?’ asked Frodo at length. ‘And how much did Bilbo know?’
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings, book I, chapter 2 - The Shadow of the Past

"There was another long silence. The sound of Sam Gamgee cutting the lawn came in from the garden" provides a long pause. "asked Frodo at length" provides a shorter pause, a breath in the middle of the passage. When a description interrupts a dialogue, we perceive it as a pause in the dialogue - there's something while the dialogue holds. So when you imagine your character pausing, you break the line of dialogue with "he said", or with something longer, depending on the length of the required pause.

‘When did I first begin to guess?’ he mused, searching back in memory. ‘Let me see – it was in the year that the White Council drove the Dark Power from Mirkwood, just before the Battle of Five Armies, that Bilbo found his ring. (ibid)

"Let me see" and similar interjections are also a way of inserting a pause. Even "well" will do.

Punctuation is also your friend: you can use em-dashes are your particular friend, but there are also commas, semicolons and periods.

‘Known?’ said Gandalf. ‘I have known much that only the Wise know, Frodo. But if you mean “known about this ring”, well, I still do not know, one might say. There is a last test to make. But I no longer doubt my guess. (ibid)

Another tool you have is repetition. By stalling in place, as it where, by using the same word or different words to say the same thing, by elaborating on the same point, you slow down the transfer of information. Instead of running forwards, the conversation stays in place. Everything feels slow and measured, rather than rushed. This can also be used to make a point stronger - it stays in our mind if it is repeated.

Read dialogues that feel slow and measured (I didn't choose this dialogue at random), and notice how the effect is achieved. There are multiple tools at play, all mixed together. Once you can recognise them, try to apply them to your writing.

(0)

Login to post a comment!