: Re: Is having elaborate metaphors ever a bad thing? Is having elaborate metaphors a bad thing in a short story (for the purposes of the story being accepted by a magazine)? How can I know if

Most of your metaphors do seem a bit confusing. Your first example compares parallel rays of sunlight to entrails, but entrails aren't parallel. Your second example compares newly formed clouds to transparent glass, but even the wispiest of clouds are far from transparent, they are opaque at best. Your third example "exhibitionist, twilight colors" brings to mind Ray Stevens streaking across a basketball court rather than the romantic setting you probably had in mind.

Th last one is fine. A crescent moon piercing the night makes sense, doesn't contradict itself and I can visualize it perfectly.

The problem with the others may be that you are trying to force them in, or not visualizing them well enough to properly portray them. Don't use metaphors just for the sake of using metaphors, they should be used to create an image in your readers head that they can relate to, thus taking your description from your words into Their heads. I can not relate to rays of light looking like entrails. But I could relate them to ribbons, or rivers or long brushstrokes.

Close your eyes and picture your setting. What does it look like? What does it remind you of? If you were describing it to someone who could not see it, how would you make them understand what it looked like?

Also, you should consider deleting about 90% of your adjectives. This is what's making your writing long winded and overly descriptive. To describe you beams of light as glowing, parallel and lemon colored is more than your reader needs or wants to know. take it easy on them, don't give them so much to process all at once.

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: Re: Is having elaborate metaphors ever a bad thing? Is having elaborate metaphors a bad thing in a short story (for the purposes of the story being accepted by a magazine)? How can I know if

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: Including a real event in a story I was thinking about writing a short story depicting a real event that took place over 2000 years ago. I'm not using any real person, but I am using the

: Would this character be classified as an antivillain, antihero, or something else entirely? From an analysis standpoint, I'm trying to determine what classification the antagonist and protagonist

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: How much should I pay the copyright holder for the right to translate a book and sell copies? Suppose I'm a local publisher. If I want to translate a book, print it and sell translated copies,

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