: Re: Need help cleaning up a sentence I'm having trouble with a particular sentence in my book. I had originally written: Monicaâ€™s group of friends was a diverse mixture of race, gender, and background.

Readers are either going to completely miss the point, or they are going to be confused about the mismatch.

Some suggestions:

Retain the commercial reference, and drop the "cubs" name.
Retain the name, drop the commercial, and think of a better origin for the name.
Retain both, but add a flashback to the interesting/humorous reason they ended up with a mixed-up name that so obviously doesn't match its origin.

Leaving it as is, isn't going to work so well.

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: Re: Need help cleaning up a sentence I'm having trouble with a particular sentence in my book. I had originally written: Monicaâ€™s group of friends was a diverse mixture of race, gender, and background.

More posts by @Margaret427

: Your question is moot because you're overthinking your issue. There is no 'general reader' because we all live in different bubbles and have different knowledge bases. For example: I'm currently

: What's the name of this type of "literary work"? Character1: dialogue Character2: action Character1: ... Character1: dialogue In the context of fanfiction, they're sometimes referred to as drabbles.

: How can one "treat writing as a job" even though it doesn't pay? I hear this advice a lot: "Treat your writing as a job." But it seems to me that this is easier said/done when it is actually

: Questionable behavior by editor Last year, I worked for an organization that published a weekly blog on its website. The blog was also published as a newspaper column and was included in a

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: Re: Need help cleaning up a sentence I'm having trouble with a particular sentence in my book. I had originally written: Monicaâ€™s group of friends was a diverse mixture of race, gender, and background.

More posts by @Margaret427

: Your question is moot because you're overthinking your issue. There is no 'general reader' because we all live in different bubbles and have different knowledge bases. For example: I'm currently

: What's the name of this type of "literary work"? Character1: dialogue Character2: *action* Character1: ... Character1: dialogue In the context of fanfiction, they're sometimes referred to as drabbles.

: How can one "treat writing as a job" even though it doesn't pay? I hear this advice a lot: "Treat your writing as a job." But it seems to me that this is easier said/done when it is actually

: Questionable behavior by editor Last year, I worked for an organization that published a weekly blog on its website. The blog was also published as a newspaper column and was included in a

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: What's the name of this type of "literary work"? Character1: dialogue Character2: action Character1: ... Character1: dialogue In the context of fanfiction, they're sometimes referred to as drabbles.