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Topic : Re: Tense change when referring to how protagonist currently is while he is describing events I have written a novel that I want to send out to agents, but am now having doubts if it is polished - selfpublishingguru.com

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Using present tense in quotation or dialogue is correct. Using past tense in narration is correct.

Thus, your example is correct:

"Wow, that guy's hair is so white!" a passerby said.

I was the only one he could have been talking about. There was no one
else here it could have been. My hair is a pure white, alongside my
also white eyes. My other features are tired and weary.

I would suggest the following:

1) Delete your prologue. Prologues are unnecessary nine times out of ten.

2) Revise as follows: "I was the one he was talking about. There was no one else it could have been. My hair, my eyes—pure white..." You could also revise the sentence to exclude the expletive, but that is your choice.

3) Revise the following sentence, for it is telling, and not showing:

My other features are tired and weary.

Don't tell me the character's features are tired and weary! Show me!


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