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 topic : Re: How can I show a character's emotions through a phone call? When writing face-to-face dialogue, I like to give clues as to what the non-POV character is thinking and feeling through their actions.

Carla500 @Carla500

What I ended up doing was to add detail to the characters' earlier meeting to establish the secondary character's personality and mannerisms, not only for the reader but also the main (POV) character. This allowed me to let up a bit in the phone call (the initial number of sighs was ridiculous) and let the dialogue do the heavy lifting. But it also meant that I could now explicitly reference the earlier scene. For example, I can now indirectly show the secondary character's agitation because the main character pictures him pacing, presumably due to his tone.
I also made pauses in the phone call more explicit (e.g. by having the main character check if the other character's still on the line). I think that's something that occurs more naturally in face-to-face dialogue (every physical action or description adds a tiny pause), but making that clearer helps convey the non-POV character's uncertainty.
And finally, I moved one critical piece of information into a later scene (which I had planned anyway) where they meet in person again, which allows for a better description of his reaction.

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