: How should I write two huge evil reveals in one climax? I am only plotting my story as of right now, and I'm trying to put together a good climax. So far, A's parents were murdered by C.
I am only plotting my story as of right now, and I'm trying to put together a good climax. So far, A's parents were murdered by C. A is best friends with B, who actually works for C. Evil reveal #1 : B is finally admits to A that she's a traitor. Then C goes through with her evil plan, but it fails. Evil reveal #2 : B says she never cared for either side of the "war" and tries to kill A and C before fleeing the scene. Is that all too much? I might save the reveal #2 for the second book or something. Thanks in advance!
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@Moriarity138
As outlined, I see three major problems with this:
It's undermotivated - B "has never cared for" either side? That's pretty weak motivation for double-crossing betrayal.
It doesn't make much sense - Why wouldn't B have killed A or C before, given that she had both of their trust?
One betrayal undercuts the emotional impact of the other, and without much gain.
However, I see a solution that would improve all of these issues:
Give B a solid, very good reason for hating C, and then make her betrayal of A the price she has paid to win C's trust. I wouldn't have her actually target A --again, it strains credibility she would have held off so long if that was her aim. Instead, her betrayal of A opens the door for her to strike at C.
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@Gonzalez219
Why is B revealing the treachery to A before the attack on C?
Unless there is a good reason why, to do it then, you could have C's attack fail, B attack C, A express shock and horror, and B laugh and say, Ha, you didn't really think I was on your side? before bolting. (Perhaps in the belief that A's shock will give an opening.)
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@Gretchen741
Very subjective answer:
This is pretty much an opinion. If we are breaking any character loyalty to B, then it doesn't matter if he is revealed as a traitor AND betrays A again with attempted murder. If you want people to sympathize with B afterwards, two betrayals at once pretty much kills that (pun intended). B better have a good plan B (again, pun intended) if B is going to betray BOTH faction A and C at the same time. B is pretty much set up as the villain in the sequel (?) because no one likes someone who betrays everyone (unless they are wildly successful; people will forgive almost anything if a person succeeds. Does A die? Guessing not).
If you want people to care about B, then betray C, but don't actively betray A unless A is trying to STOP B from betraying/killing C.
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