: Re: How do you format dialogue within a parargraph? He made his way over to the crimson red telephone box that basked in the afternoon sunlight. Ted knew she was hiding in there. “You can come

@Connie138

Separate and clarify:
Everyone has a different style, but I was always told that it is better to separate speakers clearly, and delineate who is saying each statement. You can be ambiguous about what people mean, but not about who is speaking. I've been yelled at plenty of times about this. I'd do this one something like this:

He made his way over to the crimson red telephone box that basked in the afternoon sunlight. Ted knew she was hiding in there. “You can come out now," he said. He swung open the door. He callously stared at her.


She looked up at him with discomfort and relief. Her body was bundled up against the floor like a tired dog. "At least try to seem like you're having fun, Ted," she answered.

I adjusted a few words for the different format, I hope this didn't change any meaning. Each person has their own paragraph, and each statement is specifically labeled. If no one else could possibly say a sentence, you wouldn't have to specify who said it, but it's usually better to be explicit, even if it feels a little forced. Readers may have missed something along the way, and it's best to give them all the help they can get.

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