: Re: Improving my story opening? I'm writing a story about a woman driving cross-country in search of her childhood home. There, she discovers the small town has grown to a suburban sprawl, and she's

@Alves689

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I agree with friendly's answer about the need for a better hook. This is why it feels a bit bland to you, I think. Assuming this is at the very beginning of the whole story, we need a bit more to catch our attention. The opening sentences are supposed to get us interested and asking questions, but they also needs to answer a few questions, particularly "Why do we care?" Part of the problem here is that we are still asking, "Why do we care?" while the story goes on to describe scenery. Literally all we know is that someone (Grace) is going to see someone else (Woodbridge, or at least his house) in some place where she hasn't been in 9 years. We don't care about Grace or Woodbridge, they are just names to us so far, and therefore we don't care about the scenery either.
Think about some of the most attention grabbing first lines in books you have read. "Peter was thirsty, but there were no water fountains to be seen in the park" is not nearly as interesting as "If he didn't find something to drink right now, Peter feared he would die." Simply changing the emphasis of the first sentence can help to get attention, highlight the questions the reader should be asking, and set the author up to answer them.
Primarily in this case some things you want your readers to be curious about are: "Who is Grace? Who is Woodbridge and why does she want to go to Woodbridge's house?" It seems you also want us wondering about the setting, since you are spending so much time hammering in how much things have changed. So we are meant to be asking "Why has it been so long?", "Why is she back now?", and "How are these changes going to be good or bad for our hero?"
So to briefly illustrate what I'm trying to say: Let's say you instead were to begin "It had been 9 years since Grace had last visited Woodbridge's house." This slight rephrase puts at the forefront the bit you seem to want us most curious about, aka the fact it has been a long time (just speculating based on the little you gave us so far). If you were then to add, for example, "but now she had no choice but to return", it would immediately provide some more information that might provoke interest. We would now know the answer (or at least a partial answer) to "why has it been so long?": Grace has been actively avoiding going there (and now want to know "why?" maybe she hates Woodbridge? in which case we now are definitely curious about him, or maybe the house is haunted?) We also know there is something that is forcing her to go anyway, when she would rather not, and we want to know what that is. Even something simple like this, just one or two sentences could provide enough of a "hook" and interest that when you proceed to discussing the changing scenery, you're reader is willing to go along in search of answers to previous questions, and you can give them new questions while you're at it.
Now obviously in your actual story Grace may actually be excited about visiting Woodbridge instead of adverse to it. It doesn't matter. My point is, let us in her head a little. Give us a reason to care. You clearly think there is something we should care about concerning both Grace and the situation, or you wouldn't be writing it. Figure out a way to get the reader in on the magic, and asking the right questions. :)

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