: Re: Showing one word hesitation due to fright in dialogue I'm a children's writer and have always used, "W-Who," to a the character being scared. An example would be "W-Who's there?"

@Lengel543

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As a very mentally visual writer, dialogue, actions, etc. play out very clearly in my head when I write. Something like a fear induced stutter I then have to figure out how to most accurately translate to the written word, as you seek to do here. Which one of your two choices I would use would be based on how the character actually speaks when visualizing the scene. You ask if you should write "W-Who?" or "Who-who?" In my opinion, these are two slightly different things, so it would depend which one of them the character actually did. Did the character begin the word and stumble over the the first syllable (first example, could also be written "wh-who") or did they manage the the whole word before the break/pause, and then repeat it (second example)?
So you just need to decide which of these two reactions is closer to what your character actually displays. If you are just trying to signal the reader the character is scared, as opposed to having a specific mental picture you are trying to directly convey, then either will do just as well as the other, since both indicate some kind of distraction or emotion that is causing your character to speak with less than complete confidence and clarity.
It is interesting the ways we can change emphasis and emotion on something based on how we format it.
"W-Who are you?" This character is shaken up and they are tripping over their words. Their voice is trembling, might even be breaking.
"Who-Who are you?" The pause here is brief, with the second "who" begun nearly immediately after uttering the first one. This character is stammering.
"Who— Who are you?" This is less emotional and slightly more contemplative. There is a longer hesitation here as the speaker collects their thoughts.
"Who... Who are you?" Another lengthy pause, though the pacing is slower here than that implied by the version with the em dash. This character is drawing out their speech to give them time to think. (Much like the first two examples can be used in similar circumstances and are often used interchangeably, this version could be used interchangeably with the one before it).
"Who are you?" This character's tone is more demanding, the person they are addressing is not just unknown but unknown in a form or circumstance they find especially unusual, hence the emphasis on the latter part of the question.
It's fun to play with these things! If I were you, I'd go with the one that feels right, even if someone else prefers an alternative more, unless they can give you a sensical answer as to why their version is better or they can prove yours is actually somehow "incorrect" (and writers still have been known to bend the rules sometimes for the sake of style, haven't we?).

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