: Re: Problems with constructing a complex sentence with many ideas in it I am trying to write a sentence that tells the reader that the works displayed that they are about to see will bring them
Here are some ideas. Note, that "the displayed works" may be technically correct, but nobody says or writes that. The awkwardness of your sentence starts there.
These pieces will send the viewer on a journey through the real -- and
into the virtual.
or
This work will take the viewer on a journey through the physical,
across the border into the virtual, and back again!
or, if you were looking for something more direct, like in a story:
Hang on to your hats, boys and girls! Step on up and have a look,
you'll never believe what your eyes will see. Pay two bits, and come
on, strap in for the journey! From the physical, through the virtual,
the borders you'll cross and the things you'll witness your friends
will never believe!
Of course that's last one has a side-show feel to it. It does demonstrate something useful, through -- the fact that you don't need to cram everything into one sentence.
Final point:
One problem I see with your writing is that it's passive. You can see that in the way you've phrased your question.
For instance, you wrote:
This is the sentence that I wrote:
instead of:
I wrote this sentence:
Or this:
The "borders" that I mentioned in the statement reflects some of the earlier references in the paragraph.
which could be:
The "borders" reflect some of the earlier references in the paragraph.
Write more directly to you audience. Don't be afraid to state what you're going to state. Your writing will be cleaner, tighter and clearer if you avoid the passive voice.
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