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Topic : Re: How to improve the ending of my short novel (mostly dialogue)? In a previous question, I asked about how to improve the opening of my short novel. The following is the ending: "Can I - selfpublishingguru.com

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1) As far as concept, there's nothing to improve. I like this quite a bit. The mystery and the philosophy dovetail nicely. There isn't a lot of action, and whatever "happens" is occurring in dialogue. This works really well.

2) Action tags can be almost anywhere you like; it's mostly a choice of style. As long as it's clear to whom the action belongs, there's no particular rule. I suggested one spot to fix below, but otherwise all your action tags are clear.

3) Minor fixes:

her lips slightly parted

Mouths are open, lips are parted, because there are two and they are parted from one another.

I would put a line break before "She leaned her head..." so that it's clear that the next line of dialogue is hers.

closed the bottle

You can't close a glass, and he wouldn't be returning the glass to the shelf.

Either:

"What does it look like?"

OR

"How does it look?"

washed his hands

Either:

was in the right place

OR

was in its place

What's this drink called?

That's important, so that we know she means the drink and not the philosophical concept he's discussing.

started drawing circles

They're not imaginary because she's drawing them on the glass, even if she's not writing them with ink.

she continued, "there is

Comma instead of period, lowercase T


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