: Re: What's the difference between academic and journalistic writing? I'm not talking about "boring" academic papers that are 99% science and 0% interesting. But in comments on a draft of my senior
Maybe this is not the answer you're looking for but, have you tried to ask your supervisor what are the concrete complaints he has about your style?
Unless your field of research is related to journalism, it is possible that your supervisor actually doesn't know how to structure a journalistic text well or at all.
On the other hand, he knows scientific writing well and had some concrete aspects in mind when making that, hard to understand, metaphor.
Ask your supervisor to be more details on what he thinks you should improve. If you do that, you will surelly get much better feedback than you will ever obtain here.
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