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Topic : Re: When to start a new paragraph and when to start a new "scene" This is an extract of a short story I'm writing. Sometimes I get confused about when to start a new paragraph and when to start - selfpublishingguru.com

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The first transition is very jarring, I am expecting to see more of her reaction and also be told a reason that she ignored the kid and went to sleep. There might be a reason you don't want to share the latter, in which case I might say something like "She pondered this for a moment to herself, then shrugged and rolled over and went back to sleep", or something to that effect. The shrug here is used a gesture to show her dismissing whatever reason she may have had for investigating. If you don't have a distinct reason to say why it is that she didnt go and try to help a child in the middle of the night on the beach, which most women would do as they tend towards the maternal, I might try "She looked at the kid and wondered what he might be doing there at this time. She wanted to go and make sure he was alright and wasn't lost, but (Insert reason here) instead and went to sleep." Reasons might be fear of going on the beach alone, fear that she was still dreaming, I have no idea really why but I hope you do. There definately needs to be an indication that she ignored the kid and went back to sleep before the transition because it's so unexpected to me that she'd do so.

The second transition is perfect: You explain what she did with her day and it's a normal assumption that a person would go to sleep after their day was over, so there's no disconnect or jarring of the frame of reference.

Hope this helps!


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