: Re: Does this writing create emotion in the reader? The thing I hear most often about my writing is, "It's too dry." I'm sure this happens to other people too. I'm working on eliciting

As answer to your question: it did for me. You can slightly get a feeling of the story behind, and I think that makes it strong.

I do have 2 small notes:
". I did. not. move.": This reads a bit annoying
"But...we both also": I think "..." isn't stronger than just a regular comma and should only be used in comics ;).

I like M.Na'el's piece as well but that depends on the style you want to write.

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: Is this dialogue and situation intriguing (short story)? This is the continuation of a story I mentioned in a previous story. I would like to know if the reader would feel intrigued by the

@Candy753

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: When to start a new paragraph and when to start a new "scene" This is an extract of a short story I'm writing. Sometimes I get confused about when to start a new paragraph and when to start

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: Finding an Textfile Ezine to Write For I am an eighth grader who is about halfway through reading all of the "Hogs of Entropy" issues. Reading through them, I realized that formality is not

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: How to overcome the fact that I can't write long stories? I have written some short stories (in fact, they are flash fiction). When I'm writing short stories, the ideas and the structure come

: Re: Does this writing create emotion in the reader? The thing I hear most often about my writing is, "It's too dry." I'm sure this happens to other people too. I'm working on eliciting

More posts by @Candy753

: Is this dialogue and situation intriguing (short story)? This is the continuation of a story I mentioned in a previous story. I would like to know if the reader would feel intrigued by the

: When to start a new paragraph and when to start a new "scene" This is an extract of a short story I'm writing. Sometimes I get confused about when to start a new paragraph and when to start

: Finding an Textfile Ezine to Write For I am an eighth grader who is about halfway through reading all of the "Hogs of Entropy" issues. Reading through them, I realized that formality is not

: How to overcome the fact that I can't write long stories? I have written some short stories (in fact, they are flash fiction). When I'm writing short stories, the ideas and the structure come

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