: Re: Alternatives to "he said" in dialogue I'm working on my first fiction story. And one mechanical thing I struggle with is how to identify the speakers in dialog without constantly saying "Bob

@Frith254

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I agree with the advice about simply eliminating the attribution in simple dialogue; it's often not necessary. The tips about using action to convey the speaker are good as well. I particularly like Lexi's second example, but all of them are excellent.

You should strenuously avoid overdoing any use of vernacular or colloquialisms. I think it's a terrible idea to give verbal affectations to your characters just in order to distinguish who's speaking in dialogue sections. It might seem all right in a humorous context, I suppose, to have your London cabbie always append "guv'nor" to the end of every sentence, but even that would be barf-worthy as humor. Problems with colloquialisms include not getting it right for the locals, who always have a keen inner ear for this stuff, and badly dating your work.

I really only have one more tip to add: don't be afraid of "said". An editor friend of mine says that nothing screams "newbie" like a long string of "breathed", "growled", etc. Of course, if someone's shrieking, she should be allowed to shriek; my friend's point is that a labored attempt at artful variance will often come off as such. (From the same perspective, I personally think that too many heart-quickenings and pencil-snappings could eventually wear a little thin, though I really do like the examples given.) With careful attention to the techniques demonstrated by Dale Emery and Lexi, the occasional "said" to succinctly get you out of structural hot water may be a grace note instead of a hindrance.

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