: Re: What is the proper way to use the pronoun "I" without too much repetition? I found a new job in London and while emailing with my soon-to-be boss, I noticed something that drove me off: the

@Cugini967

Vote Up Vote Down

Pronouns can be heavily used more readily than other words, because the smaller and more common a word is, the less it "stands out". Readers of English are used to I repeating a lot in first-person writing, because it's appropriate to such expression - the weak inflection means the information other languages would express in the form of the verb requires a noun or pronoun in English. So it isn't a problem.

Compare your original (with one fix):

I should be able to tell you (I hope) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of the office) and I'm trying to push this as fast as I can.

With:

The sentinel should be able to tell you (the sentinel hopes) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of the office) and the sentinel is trying to push this as fast as the sentinel can.

Now, that's still perfectly grammatical, but it is pretty strange. The reason is that the long and relatively rare word sentinel is more striking so its repetition is jarring. Unless we wanted this jarring for effect, we would avoid it.

The main way that we would avoid it, is to use pronouns:

The sentinel should be able to tell you (he hopes) on Friday or Monday (both bosses are still out of the office) and he is trying to push this as fast as he can.

He, like I bears much more repetition.

(Incidentally said and asked bear vast repetition easily. Trying to avoid them by substituting other words on the other hand, leads to tiring "said bookism").

If I was to pick any point of style for criticism in the sentence, it would be that parentheses are worth avoiding.

I hope to be able to tell you on Friday or Monday. Both bosses are still out of the office, and I'm trying to push this as fast as I can.

To keep things a matter of a series of thoughts, rather than detours into parenthetical thoughts from which the reader has to return. That said, I probably only noticed at all, because my own writing tends to overuse parentheses a lot, so I'm used to looking for where they can be removed because my own first-drafts tend to need it more than other people's.

(0)

Login to post a comment!