: Re: Best way to emphasise the greenness of the fields in spring in comparison with summer The question arises from this sentence in my story, which was originally written in Hebrew and later translated

@RJPawlick285

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without a sense of the point-of-view of the narrator here, and the context surrounding this event: this walk to the post-office, I don't think I can say much.

Is your use of past tense here a deliberate choice, or dictated by the context and point-of-view ?

You've given some hints: "surreal," "archaic;" which one could "project" into a thousand contexts, but then, that wouldn't be your writing, your voice.

What do you wish the reader to experience at this point in the story, or novel ?

In terms of the "flow" of your English, the somewhat stilted linear sequence of the sentences (peppered with lots of the article "the") could very well be required by the character you are portraying: that "jagged flow" could suggest a detachment, an existential anomie, or, a distance, "in consciousness," between the narrator, and the world of his, or her, senses.

That's where we need to know your intent, as creator.

So, having said all that, let me tell you what comes to my mind :)

"Morning: I awoke, remembered I had to go the post-office. I stepped into the brilliance of an early spring day where the waxing sun had just burned-off dawn's mists, reflecting, as I walked, on the vibrant green fields along the roadway's transient lushness. I thought: such a fragile effusion of life-force: unaware, as I was all too aware, of the dragon of summer's on-rushing searing force, and its withering scourge of heat.

I believe I may have actually said to myself, out loud: 'it may be a blessing not to remember the future.' "

In any case, good luck !

yours, Bill

"I'd like the winds of all cultures to blow around my house, but I would not want to be knocked over by any of them." Mahatma Gandhi

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