: Re: Opening a story with a reference to what someone just said followed by a setting description An example: Naomi's words hung in the air as I gazed out of the hotel window. The mountain

@Sent2472441

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I think your first paragraph works well. You create a tiny mystery right off the bat -- what was it that Naomi said that her words are still "hanging in the air"? -- that sucks the reader in. It's often said that if you can hook the reader in the first couple of sentences, you've got him. (I may plagiarize this idea myself someday. :-)

A great piece of advice I read once was from an editor who said that a writer submitted a story to him and explained, "My story really starts rolling in chapter 2." The editor's response was, "Then start the story with chapter 2."

I'll add that personally, I don't like the "I thought it was just a myth." I think that's a line that has been beaten to death. It seems like every time a strange tale or object is introduced in an adventure story, someone says, "I thought that was just a myth."

Also, "the Giant Ancient Tree" is a rather dull name for something that sounds like it's going to turn into a key element in the story.

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