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Topic : Re: "Variation" and "symmetry" in a sentence I always find myself wondering whether to add add "variation" or "symmetry" to a sentence. Most of the time I can't make out my mind. Few examples: - selfpublishingguru.com

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This is a matter of style. If you can find a noun that evokes a precise image without using an adjective, so much the better. For example, a tricycle is a "three-wheeled bike" and so it is a noun that contains its own descriptor.

As for the first example, my impression is that you didn't think too much about the beginning, which needs work, and are saving all your worry for what amounts to a false dilemma at the end. I would suggest you don't let yourself get locked into one way of thinking about a scene. Try alternate ways of being evocative. You may be struggling with the last part of the sentence because it's the first part that isn't carrying enough freight. Consider:

The moonlight carved a narrow canyon between cliffs of bamboo and banana, its walls closing in from both sides as I pushed my way along the trail.

There are of course many different ways to set this scene. But this one makes the moonlight the agent of a claustrophobic, faintly menacing presence. Cliffs are tall, so you don't have to use that adjective to describe the plants. Darkness, tallness, narrowness — all are present, but the experience of them comes alive in a way they do not when you merely trot out a string of facts. It is the age-old difference between showing and telling.


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