: Re: Does this passage break the rules of telling and not showing? I wrote a story called Tempo, which I enjoy (this does not mean that it is good), but that has a chunk where the main character

@RJPawlick285

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Unless this is a screenplay you're perfectly fine describing the character's thoughts. That's what the best authors do (If memory serves me, I think like 95% of Crime and Punishment was internal ruminations)

Anyway, the problem for me is that I had a hard time deciphering the point you were trying to make. I had to re-read it about 4 times. For example,

If it wasn't someone else that brought happiness, what was I supposed to do?

Could be more clearly written as

If being with another woman couldn't bring me happiness, what was I supposed to do?

And the next sentence was even more confusing:

I didn't want a lover, I wanted someone to confirm I wasn't wasting my life and to reflect what Hollywood and every brainless pop song on the radio claims to be happiness.

since I was expecting a single thought, and had to re-read it several times to get to the point where what I believe you're saying is that:

1.) Your character wanted companionship for abnormal reasons

AND

2.) Your character wanted to conform to popular society's expectations

Consider breaking that out into at least two sentences, which gives you more room to expand on those thoughts.

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