bell notificationshomepageloginNewPostedit profile

Topic : Rhythm in a list I think I don't have problems establishing a rhythm in a "normal" paragraph. I usually just go: short, long, long, long, short, long or something like that. But when it comes - selfpublishingguru.com

10.01% popularity

I think I don't have problems establishing a rhythm in a "normal" paragraph. I usually just go: short, long, long, long, short, long or something like that.

But when it comes to lists, I always get confused.

Example:

For the first time today, she became aware of the familiar sights; the
zelkova trees in front of the houses, the food stands on the
pedestrian walkways, the farmer markets. The Okutama Mountains, and
the Akigawa river, the latter flowing through the city like a sentinel guarding
its habitants from outsiders.

So in the example above I have: long, long, short, short, very long. An honestly, I'm not sure whether it flows smoothly or not.

Are the elements of a list usually better off being more of less the same length? If I want length variation on them, what's the kind that flows better?

EDIT:

For the first time today, she became aware of the familiar sights; the
zelkova trees in front of the houses, the food stands on the
pedestrian walkways, the farmer markets on the side of the streets.
The Okutama Mountains, resting quietly in the mist, and the Akigawa
river—flowing through the city like a sentinel guarding its people
from outsiders.

Does this flow better?


Load Full (1)

Login to follow topic

More posts by @Smith147

1 Comments

Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best

10% popularity

Short to long.
In general, lists flow better from short to long.

Emphasis.
Another important consideration is what goes at the start of the list and what goes at the end. I often order a list so that the most important item goes at the end.

But this can cause a bit of a conflict. On one hand, the item at the end of the list tends to get more weight in the reader's mind. On the other hand, readers also give the longest item gets extra weight because it uses more words.

Hiding information.
One final consideration: If you want to hide information in plain sight, put it toward the middle of a longer list. This can be useful in mysteries to obscure clues while "playing fair" with readers.

Patterns.
In your example, the first two items set up a bit of a pattern: [some things] [in relation to] [some place]. So readers might expect the last item to fit the same pattern, and it doesn't.

Test it.
Whenever I put a shorter item at the end, I like to read it aloud a few times to gauge the rhythms.


Load Full (0)

Back to top