: Re: Does this entice the reader to continue? This is the beginning of my science fiction book that I am currently writing. I tried to be more specific, but without giving away the full idea. I
If this is a day when something culturally important happens, then the culture will have a name to distinguish it (cf. “confirmationâ€, “bar mitzvahâ€, “quinceañeraâ€).
Who is the first-person narrator talking to? Why would this audience need to be told about boosting, etc.?
“Others viewed it from a different angle. There were so many ways that people thought of it.†What different angle? What ways? Two paragraphs into the story and you’re already vague: this is not tantalizing but irritating. Furthermore, why should I as a reader care what people think of “boosting†if I don’t even know what it is?
The character that you portray here doesn’t seem to want anything, but is content to just let things happen to him/her and then find out how it goes. This is a weak place to begin a plot.
It wasn’t clear to me how the fourth paragraph connects to the preceding three. On my first reading, I thought that the “dump filled with delinquents and thieves†is Sector D, rather than the Sector C that the narrator apparently lives in.
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: These questions are for writers having trouble finishing work, or those stuck in the planning phase.
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