: Is it OK to have two different POVs in a same paragraph (third-person omniscient narrator)? This is my first time writing a third-person omniscient narrator. And just got stucked in a dilemma.
This is my first time writing a third-person omniscient narrator. And just got stucked in a dilemma. This is the opening of the story:
Once again Kuo found himself standing face to face with Mei-Ling at the
airport. He looked to his side. Sunlight poured in through the window
of the observation area. An gloomy orange. Beyond the glass, a Boeing
747 parked in profile, its wings curving slightly upwards, its
metallic surface mirroring the evening sky. A giant silver bird
designed to help people fly to their dreams, to their journeys, to
their new destinations. Kuo turned back to Mei-Ling who was carrying
medium-sized Boston bag and an Asus Laptop case. Unlike most girls,
she liked to travel light; she hated carrying too many heavy things on
her shoulders. It was something she wanted to avoid at all cost. Even
for long trip like this one.
The bolded part is told in the POV of the protagonist's girlfriend. Should I put it in a different paragraph since it's a different POV? Or it's just OK where it is?
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While I agree with Lauren’s answer to the question of "Is it OK to have two POVs in one paragraph,†this piece could easily be read as the narrator knowing his girlfriend well enough to know that she travels light, and why.
The opening line; "Unlike most girls," seems more like something he'd think of her than something she'd think of herself. The rest of the piece could easily be something I’d say about my wife, and feels perfectly natural as being from the boyfriend’s perspective.
In fact, if you hadn’t have asked your question around the piece I would have assumed that the POV had not changed to hers.
If you plan on then moving on to the rest of the piece being in her POV then I'd recommend splitting out the last part into its own paragraph. But if you intend to remain in the POV of the boyfriend for the rest of the section then keeping the piece as it is will work fine.
Also, keeping the piece as it is will help avoid the far greater confusion of a sudden change of POV followed by a sudden change back.
Yes, if you have two POV narrators in the same section, you must at least put her POV in another paragraph. Think of it as similar to speech; if you'd put a new speaker on a new line or in a new paragraph, you must do the same with POV.
These are her thoughts. You have to differentiate them.
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