: Re: Delaying narrative/actions I tend do this a lot: A straight curve appeared after a moment. I slowed my pace and circled around. Once I came out of it, I caught sight of something.

@Heady158

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I would unequivocally say: It depends.

Sometimes it is good to add a small delay to build anticipation or mystery. If the intent of the paragraph is that at first the hero isn't sure what it is he sees, and then as he gets closer or looks more carefully he begins to make it out, then it is good to break it into multiple sentences. The more mystery that you want and that is appropriate, the more extra sentences would be useful.

You certainly should not use this technique all the time. You don't want every paragraph in a story to be, "I walked to another place. It was a room. There was something in the room. It was a person. The person was a man. The man was my friend Bob. I said something to Bob. What I said was a greeting. The greeting was the word 'hello'. Bob replied. Bob said words. ..." Etc. That would be tedious and ridiculous.

But at key places where something is supposed to be a surprise or a revelation, dragging it out a little can be very good and appropriate. Like, "And then I realized who the killer was. It was Fred" builds just a little bit of tension before the revelation, while, "And then I realized that Fred was the killer" does not.

In your example, if the point and the context is that seeing this girl in the woods was a surprise, and that when he first saw her he did not realize it was a girl, your first paragraph is appropriate. If the intent is that he saw her and immediately realized it was a girl, then your first paragraph is unnecessarily cumbersome.

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