: Re: Does the following opening grip you? Of all the people who wanted to join the trip, Paola was the the last I expected would come. It surprised me. We barely knew each other at school,

It's a little slow to develop. I prefer a short simple paragraph with some phrase that's either intriguing or "sticky" that I can't get out my head, like the hook to a pop song.

Here's an edit that lacks the hook but gets to the point quicker:

Of all the people on the trip, Paola was the the last I expected. We barely knew each other at school, and I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in me. I turned to check on her. She was ambling among the rocks, her back to me. Her long blonde hair contrasted with her bronze skin. Like Spring and Fall, fire and wood. Light and darkness. With a sigh, I resumed my way down the beach...

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: Building on @what's answer (to his own question ;-) ), I'd say that the question is falsely assuming the protagonist will improve. Much more interesting is the case where the protagonist

@Berumen699

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: Your idealistic young heroes kill the 20, thereby getting what's necessary to change their dystopia into a utopia (at great personal sacrifice) -- and then watch in horror as human nature takes

@Berumen699

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: I found this interview with the president of the Young Adult Library Services (YALSA), a division of the American Library Association (ALA). She mentions that there are very few male readers

@Berumen699

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: You only have to watch Downton Abbey to realize that the 1920s were a period of rapid social upheaval in the UK. Some people clung to the old ways with a death-grip; others cast aside

: Re: Does the following opening grip you? Of all the people who wanted to join the trip, Paola was the the last I expected would come. It surprised me. We barely knew each other at school,

More posts by @Berumen699

: Building on @what's answer (to his own question ;-) ), I'd say that the question is falsely assuming the protagonist will improve. Much more interesting is the case where the protagonist

: Your idealistic young heroes kill the 20, thereby getting what's necessary to change their dystopia into a utopia (at great personal sacrifice) -- and then watch in horror as human nature takes

: I found this interview with the president of the Young Adult Library Services (YALSA), a division of the American Library Association (ALA). She mentions that there are very few male readers

: You only have to watch Downton Abbey to realize that the 1920s were a period of rapid social upheaval in the UK. Some people clung to the old ways with a death-grip; others cast aside

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