: Re: Does the following dialogue sound stiff and formal? This is a dialogue from a short story I'm writing: Finally, a log caught fire, followed by the rest. And in no time Paola and I

@Twilah982

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A few points that got kinda stiff for me as a reader and as a writer were when you split a sentence with a dialogue tag.
For example,

"I used to do it a lot," I explained, "when I was a kid."
"Wow," I said, "no need for that.

However, the dialogue you split with action tags was fantastic.

"Uh, Paola?" This was the best moment to bring it up. "Can I ask you something?"

Among many others so well done.
A few points below sounded awkward.

She continued, "Anyway, that’s why I’m here.
Paola said, "Joking aside, I came to visit my mom."

Re-word those with a description of some sort and they'll fit right into your scene. Content-wise your dialogue felt natural, honestly. Not stiff in the slightest.

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