: Re: Does the following opening grip you? Of all the people who wanted to join the trip, Paola was the the last I expected would come. It surprised me. We barely knew each other at school,
The first few sentences left me puzzled:
Of all the people who wanted to join the trip, Paola was the the last I expected would come. It surprised me. We barely knew each other at school, and I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in me.
So the only reason why someone would join a trip with several people joining is that the person in question was interested in the narrator? While that certainly is a valid reason to go to a trip with him, it certainly is not the first reason which would come to my mind, especially if it is a trip with several people joining.
So is there a specific reason (told later in the story) that the narrator would make that assumption? If not, at least to me as a reader it would be unsatisfying.
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