: Re: Does this urge you to read further or stop? I was wondering if this opening of my book enticed readers to read further. The book is a dystopian novel. This is NOT a complete chapter, it

@Sent2472441

Vote Up Vote Down

It's science fiction, and more specifically dystopic fiction. That means the purpose of the story is to highlight the differences between the fictional, 'incorrect' reality and our own 'correct' one.^ That means that in order to keep the reader interested, you have to start the scavenger search for anomalies as soon as possible. What you should be concerned about is the reader being bored.

Similarities between the fictional world and ours serve to throw the horror of dystopia into relief, at least in a novel. They become more effective the more the reader knows about the underlying horror. Due to the pacing the introduction you write reads more like a short story with a punchy twist ending. A lovely genre in its own right, but radically different stylistic conventions.

Most of the best, most memorable openings I recall in all the SFF I read introduced abnormality (and by extension mystery) in the first or second sentence. Here, the reader doesn't know the significance of the last day of the month, or of fried eggs, which makes them boring. I can see that you're trying to create an ironic paralel between a typical 'first day of school' story and what I assume is some sort of human sacrifice. You want the reader to know that as soon as possible.

To make the opening gripping you need to move it along more briskly and trim the fat. Establish the significance of the event early on. Skim on the day-to-day details, and focus on the narrator's reaction. Instead of describing dad salting the eggs and letting the reader surmise that the narrator slept poorly due to fear, try doing the opposite.

In conclusion: think about the story from a reader's point of view. The question a reader asks immediately upon opening a book is, 'Why am I reading this?' To find your perfect opening scene you need to identify the answer to this question. And then deliver what you promised.

^Unless you want to get political by allegorizing an injustice in our own present day world.

(0)

Login to post a comment!