bell notificationshomepageloginNewPostedit profile

Topic : Re: How to describe a scene involving a shift in the environment due to forbidden magic? Background/scene for question: A character witnesses his wife killed before him. While holding her, he begins - selfpublishingguru.com

10% popularity

Monica is on the right track, but I'd push it more. If he's howling the name of his murdered wife in his grief, he's not aware of anything outside that grief.

I would actually not show the husband being aware of the changes while they're happening. Maybe, possibly, flashes of light (which cast different shadows on her face), or he feels his ears pop, or the floor tilts — basically, alterations in the physical world which he can't overlook because they are interacting with him.

But the "muffled traffic" is something you notice when you're reading, not when your heart has been shattered.

However, there could be other people in the room who do notice the changes, and once the wife wakes up, the other characters could start wondering aloud if the changes in atmosphere were related to her resurrection. Or the husband distantly realizing "my ears popped" is the other characters saying "the entire building just levitated two hundred feet and then dropped" or something.


Load Full (0)

Login to follow topic

More posts by @Carla500

0 Comments

Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best

Back to top