@Hamm6328258
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: Re: How can I make the story less predictable? I'm working on my first novel. As I was going through the initial chapters, I felt that the story is quite simple and predictable (in the initial
You need two things:
conflict
interesting characters
There need to be conflict all the way. When you set up the characters, you need to show us what they are like by throwing them into situations that specifically force them to act in a way that reveals their character. If it feels predictable, have the most obvious solutions to their problems fail, and come up with more creative ones.
A predictable plot is no problem as long as the reader is invested in the characters. You need to understand why they do what they do, and if they are interesting to follow (or at least the characters they meet are), the reader will not be bored.
(It sounds as if you may have written too much backstory. See how many of the early chapters you can cut, without the story stop making sense. If there is information in there you need, try to weave it into the story by showing small hints.)
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: Can I use they/them pronouns in a medieval style fantasy novel? I'm writing a book and I'd really love to include a person with they/them pronouns. However, the novel takes place in a sort
I'm writing a book and I'd really love to include a person with they/them pronouns. However, the novel takes place in a sort of medieval style fantasy world, and I don't think anyone would have used they/them pronouns in that time period. Am I still able to use they/them or is there something else I should do that fits the time period? Or am I just not able to include them at all?
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: How to write natural-sounding dialogue? Writing dialogue for my novel has proved to be more of a challenge than I anticipated. It all seems clunky and unnatural. Any tips for writing natural
Writing dialogue for my novel has proved to be more of a challenge than I anticipated. It all seems clunky and unnatural. Any tips for writing natural sounding dialogue?
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: Re: Got a message from an Author Liaison representative representing Webnovel about the story I wrote. Any advice? I just published a story on fiction press, and although it only has 9 views, someone
I take back what I said earlier xD
I've recently learned more about this thing. I actually achieved my goal of getting the contract offer myself, but I've decided to turn it down. I wouldn't do it if I were you. But at the very least do more research before diving in. Sorry for my initial misinformed answer.
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: Re: Does "Let me know if you have any questions." mean "reply only if you have a question"? Does "Let me know if you have any questions" mean that there is no need to reply unless you
I believe this question is slightly off-topic for this site, but my understanding is;
Yes
It probably means that (in this case your landlord) only expects a reply if there are actual questions. However, it is most likely not in any way problematic to reply with a "Thank you".
Sure, any person or correspondence is unique, so your landlord may expect a reply to any informative mail.
I'd say go ahead and reply, with or without questions, if that feels natural to you. If you want to be sure, ask if your landlord expects a reply to such mails.
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: Re: I love the world and characters I've created for my story, but I dislike the plot. How can I proceed? I've spent several years periodically writing and developing a high fantasy story I mean
I have been having the same problem, so the amount of help I can give is limited. I will say this, on a more constructive note. Originality means little, writing is 99% execution and 1% original thought. As some might sarcastically say, "copying from one source is plagiarism, copying from a whole bunch is inspiration". As an example, take a look at Star Wars. The original trilogy. A New Hope was deliberately written to be the most generic, schlocky thing imaginable (down to following Campbell's monomyth beat-by-beat), and people loved it because the execution was so great.
Same with Lord of the Rings. You'd think after 66 years of imitators somebody, somewhere would come up with a distilled version of the heroic fantasy that would make the original forgotten except for its historical novelty, sort of like what happened with Burroughs' Barsoom series and science-fiction. Except it's not, because Tolkien's execution was so dang good.
As Xavier, Renegade Angel would say, "it helps no one to be reductive". Any idea, when you boil it down to its most basic components, can be framed in a way that sounds trite and overdone. It's the bells and whistles, the twists, and the way you put your unique stamp on it that make the work "good". Even your run of the mill, "a hero joins a rag-tag bunch of misfits to destroy a dark lord" story can be good if its presentation is suitably unique.
What you need are two hooks, an environmental hook, and an emotional one...
Environmental - Why is your setting unique? What differentiates it from every other fantasy world out there. The magic system? Mistborn got a lot of attention (indeed, probably all of its initial attention) due to its unique magic system. Dorohedoro got a lot of attention because of its unique slummy setting. It's things like this that make your story stand out, and you can even make very basic plots seem fresh if done in a novel enough setting where audience expectations are not established, and anything can happen. Segue into your own unique take on a plot, and you have a recipe for success.
A good example of how this could be done badly is The Inheritance Cycle. The Inheritance Cycle had an interesting magic system, and if the plot were designed around that, it would have been an interesting story. But instead, we got Star Wars with dragons. The author couldn't find the hook.
Emotional - Why should I care about these characters? What makes them different from your cookie-cutter fantasy archetypes? What about their personalities and relationships with each other makes them unique? You say that the hero fights his best-friend-turned-evil-because-he-is-jealous-of-his-power, but how does that differ from Naruto and Sasuke, or any other number of similar characters? When someone can read your story and see your characters as unique characters with their own voice instead of "Plucky Hero #7208 ", you know you've done your job.
If you do want to revise your plot, rewrite it, so it highlights the good aspects of your story (world and characters). When I was designing my story, I put my magic system and characters first and then devised a plot that would let me showcase as many of those aspects as possible to the viewer like I was building a train tour through Jurassic Park. Play to your strengths.
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: Re: Starting a sentence with well. Does my sentence need to be changed? I had a colleague today point out that the use of well in the following sentence is a typo. I think it makes sense but
Try using a conjunction instead. For example, you could say:
Although these rules have been in place for a while, shipping companies and businesses are experiencing delays as a result of incorrectly processed shipments.
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: Re: How can I indicate time passing? There is a scene in which my main character is hiding from the villain while they are both in the same room. I want this to be a suspenseful and agonizing
There are some great answers to this question already. I could see many scenarios where one could use a mix of the suggestions in the answers.
Another idea is to use visual cues, such as sunlight, to suggest that time has passed;
Tom pulled the door from inside the cabinet, leaving it just open
enough to see the table in the room across the hall, where the
sunlight beamed in and bathed the wooden tabletop in a deep amber
glow.
[Insert character's thoughts here like in the other answers]
Tom took his hand from his mouth and drew what felt like the first
natural breath in hours. He peeked through the opening and once again
saw the wooden table in the room across the hall. He could tell that
the room was still lit from the daylight, but the sunlight no longer
hit any part of the table directly.
How long had he been hiding in the closet?
A similar observation could be made about the sun going down or no longer shining into the cabinet, the streets falling quiet post-rush-hour, the construction worker's radio no longer playing, his watch beeping to remind him of taking his insulin, the battery of ___ running out, etc.
Use the knowledge of your character(s) to find something that makes sense for that character to notice and experience.
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: Re: How can I make my character sound Scottish? Yes, you read the title correctly. It sounds sorta ridiculous, but I'm wondering how I can make my Scottish character in a story of mine sound more
I have lived in Scotland and have been married to a Scot from Lanarkshire for the past 34 years, but I'm originally from the USA.
The one thing I would say is be aware that regional accent and vernacular varies a lot in Scotland, and it doesn't take a huge distance for this to happen. Fortunately there are lots of examples of current Scottish comedians that you can watch on YouTube. Kevin Bridges is popular right now. (He's from Clydebank, which is part of Greater Glasgow.) Frankie Boyle is another one. There are many others ...just google Scottish comedy, and go from there. If you watch these people performing, you'll not only get an idea of what they sound like, but also what their humour is like. Not every Scots comic is Billy Connolly. He was a one-off, but so are the others.
Please beware of using archaic stuff or doing too much phonetic 'translation' which is not only hard to read, but rarely comes off well. The ye's and the kens, etc. (Although 'ken' is used a lot in Aberdeenshire, and other areas in the eastern part of Scotland ...through Angus, Dundee and into Fife—and to some extent in the Borders as well.) It's a good idea to read modern Scottish writers to see how they portray their own language in writing. It's pretty obvious that they don't stray too far from normal English. Beware of portraying modern Scots as speaking like Robert Burns!
And also be aware that real west highland speech is different from lowland speech in that it is more soft-spoken, quite politely worded most of the time, and more 'correct English.' Why? Because it wasn't all that long ago that their first language was Gaelic, and their parents and grandparents often learned English as a second language. So they learned a slang-free form of it. Sometimes the word order gives them away, though, and they sometimes will express themselves using a Gaelic viewpoint ...but English words. Hard to explain, till you see it happening.
Just be careful, educate yourself, try to avoid clichés and stereotypes, and you'll be okay. As in so many things, less is more.
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: Re: When do I successfully kill off an important secondary main character... in a series of five books? TL;DR: How much time and development is necessary for a character I intend to kill off and
End of Book 1
There's a lot of good reasons to put the character's death at the end of Book 1. Book 1 is long enough that the character can have a character arc and people can get attached to them, but short enough that people won't be overly invested in them and stop reading when they die. An early death can be useful in setting the tone of the story, especially if you want to convey just how dangerous and potentially lethal the main conflict or journey will be for the heroes. It's also early enough that the status quo has not been set up yet, and people have more time to adjust to the post-death status quo that would be present in Books 2-5. Pushing it back might work for a shocking twist, but it also means you have less time to explore the consequences of the character's death and how it affects the survivors.
Two good examples of how a major death at the end of Act I works well for setting the tone of the story (and I won't use spoilers here since they're so well known by now as to be common knowledge) are Ned Stark from Game of Thrones and Maes Hughes from Fullmetal Alchemist. In both cases the deaths of these characters make the tone of the narrative and shows that the characters' actions have very real consequences.
Game of Thrones shows it's not going to be a traditional fantasy where the knight-in-shining armor wins based on moral strength, because you've just had one of the nicest characters in the series publicly executed by one of the nastiest. It throws everything into chaos and breaks audience expectations. Fullmetal Alchemist shows that the conspiracy behind the plot is ruthless, willing to kill someone who is beloved by just about everyone in the government and is the father of a little girl, and shows just how extensive said conspiracy is.
If you're worried about readers not sympathizing with the killed-off character, let me point out that both Ned Stark and Maes Hughes are beloved by the fanbase of their respective works and their deaths left a huge impact on the reader.
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: Re: Looking for a better word than "Yikes" I'm trying to find the right word to use in a (serious) comic I'm writing. The character is an eighteen year old American girl, talking to some older
While I think the answers provided here have some good input, I would instead focus on your actual character and use the situation for the reader to get to know her better.
Show character!
Make her unique - Make her use phrases that others don't (could be 'yikes', or 'holy!')
Show how she's self-aware, concerning the situation she's in, with older people...
If I were to write such a scene, my character would most likely use a swear-word such as "Shit!" or even "fuck!" along with some appropriate physical movement that signals being startled.
After the character's initial reaction, some characters would then go on to first apologize to the elderly for the use of foul language, and then ask "what the hell" that person was doing there / why they burst in, or tell them that they scared the "crap" out of them...
To me, this shows character, and a scene like this is an obvious chance to do just that.
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: Re: Is it illegal to use a real person as a character in your story? I'm writing a story where my character meets some of the world's greatest philosophers in a dream. He meets Franz Kafka, Dostoevsky,
People have done this before in fiction (Midnight in Paris, for example), so I highly doubt it's illegal.
Of course, it never hurts to ask for permission if you have any idea who to ask.
I believe I read somewhere that you should be very careful about the way you portray a well-known person, but in your case, I wouldn't be too worried - Especially since it's in a dream, and most people know that dreams are not to be trusted 100% - unless, of course, you establish otherwise.
If you present them in a way that matches their legacy or people's understanding of them, I highly doubt anyone would mind.
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: Re: Is it possible for a police officer to house a child in questioning? For my story, I have a character who is a police officer. In this story, a child is a key to solving the identity of
People break the rules. Fictive characters do it even more.
@Wetcircuit has a good point in his comment to your question, and I want to add to it.
If your police officer is not the hero, he would house her for his benefit and not hers.
If your police officer is 'the hero', he should house the child to save her, not to use her.
I imagine a scenario where your officer (like the rest of the police force) realizes that they will get nothing out of her, and have to let her go. Maybe he managed to make her smile once, but, overall, she wasn't useful to the case as a witness.
Later, he comes across the girl in another place. Perhaps he intervenes during a kidnapping, or she's caught up in/witness to something else, and this time, she actually finds comfort in recognizing the police officer. Perhaps, this time she doesn't actually have anyone else (or her parents are part of the crimes or dangerous, perhaps one killed the other...), and though 'his superiors' won't (and can't legally) allow him to let her stay at his place, he risks it for her safety.
He slowly earns her trust when she realizes that he's not there for her because he wants something. Perhaps he shows her care and attention in ways she's never felt before. She slowly learns that "the police" isn't the evil she's been brought up to believe, and perhaps indirectly gets to know some of the police officer's closest friends/pals/colleagues - the police officer tells stories about them.
Act 3; our police officer is critically injured, maybe killed, and to save/avenge him, she comes forward with useful information.
Additional tips for structuring the story
If these are both main characters, I suggest making sure that they both have their own side-stories/sub-plots, where we get to know them and understand how differently they approach the world (seemingly).
Later, they may realize that their differences are merely a matter of perspective and that they actually have the same core values, only shaped and created differently (us vs them, good vs bad, right vs wrong).
Also, focusing on side-stories makes it easier for their relationship to grow at a natural pace. If everything's focused on what happens between them, it will probably happen unrealistically fast, or take way too long to stay interesting.
Examples:
The police officer: Romance or relation to a friend and sibling or family issues + additional crimes to fight and keeping her a secret.
The girl: Trying to figure out what's in it for the police officer (until she trusts him) + what's her own life actually like? Friends, family, school, hobbies? How does she act/feel about the crime(s)?
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: Re: How can I begin writing a short story? I like to read short stories, novels, documentaries etc. I used to write a diary as well. I am interested in beginning to write a short story or some
I suspect that your descriptive skills are not necessarily the issue, but that you simply do not know WHAT is relevant to describe and WHY, and then HOW.
A suggestion that COULD help, but which might take some effort in order to work;
Introduce/use a somewhat 'odd' character - It could also be your narrator.
Focus on creating a character that does something or things slightly differently from 'everyone else'.
Maybe they always think about how objects/things are put together, or where the parts of something come from and are manufactured/collected/processed. Maybe they see millions and millions of things around them (grass, sand, tiles, bricks, cables, screws, wooden beams and their natural details, the pages of the books on the table, the threads of the cloth and their own jeans...) where everyone else is simple 'present somewhere'.
Maybe they see similarities between or compare all things to living creatures or other things - Coffe cups are tiny silos, tables are tiny versions of enormous spaceships in the living room(with their landing gear down, of course), speakers are military buildings with a strange weapon/defense system built into them, house-plants are forests and trees, houses and buildings are living creatures and their windows are eyes/other 'bodyparts, and so on...
Perhaps they do not naturally understand all human behavior and feel the need to question it - This can be through thoughts only or with actual dialogue between characters.
Perhaps their mind wanders, and they find themselves slightly startled in some random place after having spent time in their thoughts - Maybe they're on their way to do some grocery shopping and the sound of a car on the street reminds them of something that happened in their childhood. From there, their mind spends some time recalling the events and the emotions connected to it, which leads to other times/memories with similar or opposite emotions, and suddenly, they're standing in their local park (because something inside them made them walk there 'naturally') instead of the local supermarket where they meant to go.
An example of how these things could apply to the narrator;
When I say that these traits could be those of the narrator (and thus, not those of a character in the story), I immediately imagined a short story where we might actually lose track of the main characters sometimes because the narrator gets 'caught up in the details of somethings' or stops following the main character by accident because they 'start questioning something that happened'... Imagine that. It's probably been done, but what hasn't!
Hopefully, you find some inspiration, and maybe these ideas help you on your way to writing the details and descriptions that actually capture your reader and which you yourself find interesting.
Good luck!
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: Re: Would it be bad taste or honoring to name a Starship after historical places, ex: Pompeii? In my book, Earth is gone and are all the counties and a majority of the population and cultures.
Overall, there probably wouldn't be a problem with naming ships after geographical locations. Looking at a list of active British Navy ships, there are ships named after rivers (H.M.S. Tyne), and dukedoms which are now more popularly known in modern culture as cities (H.M.S. Lancaster or (H.M.S. Richmond). Chinese naval vessels are almost all named after cities or landmarks.
What they would probably not be named after, however, are places and events that have negative connotations. Sailing culture in general is very superstition, possibly due to being stuck aboard a tiny vessel where even a slight mistake can mean potential death for a long period of time, and its possible to assume for this reason the same might apply to starships. This is the reason you don't see any ships today named Titanic, aside from those looking for shock value. Such a name would be seen as tempting fate. If the purpose is to honor the memories of Earth, it is likely they would choose names that have positive connotations as well.
From a writing perspective, such a name is also a massive red flag that something is going to go wrong, to the point that Doctor Who and Futurama used it for comedic irony because it would seem so obvious to the audience and the writers couldn't make the joke with a straight face.
Schlock Mercenary has its battleships (battleplates) named after meteor impacts (Chicxulub, Manicougan, etc.), but in this case the name has a different purpose. For one, it is basically advertising "our battleship is as strong as the meteor that did this massive impact" and also ties to the primary in-universe function of battleplates as deflecting meteor strikes rather than any truly military function (prior to the plot they were mostly static defense because they couldn't fit through the gate network). And on top of that the ships are named after the impactor not the impactee (contra something like ICP/USS Pompeii).
In other words, ICP/USS Rome or ICP/USS Vesuvius are likely, ICP/USS Pompeii or ICP/USS Herculaneum are not.
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: Wanting to write a gay kiss... for young audiences I wanted to write a gay kiss at the close end of my third book. I already started their chemistry with each other on the first and more
I wanted to write a gay kiss at the close end of my third book. I already started their chemistry with each other on the first and more in the second now it's leading up to the kiss. I have a ton of readers and some already ship my characters together. Now if I write it I might be afraid people won't approve it. I'm scared, I planned this pairing from the start and if I can't show them who they are maybe I can't show myself...
Help!
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: How do you show an introverted, socially awkward character is kind? I have a character for whom three of their most prominent traits are meant to be their kindness/high degree of empathy, social
I have a character for whom three of their most prominent traits are meant to be their kindness/high degree of empathy, social awkwardness/obliviousness to social cues, and overall introversion. I am trying to show, not tell, that they are supposed to be kind, but I am running into difficulty doing that because of the other two personality traits. Most of the time, I have noticed that authors who wish for their characters to be interpreted as kind do this through displaying a character's behavior in social interactions, either through extroverted individuals being publicly nice and supportive of others or for more introverted individuals being supportive privately when no one is looking (i.e., showing them being nice to/protective of strangers).
That doesn't really work for this character. They are rather anti-social, shy, and don't like to be around large groups of unfamiliar people, and while they do like to spend time with people they care about they often prefer to go off on their own than try to socialize. Therefore, they have fewer opportunities to display kindness/empathy or are less likely to be present when a situation does arise that would demonstrate this trait (i.e., assisting someone who needs help). Additionally, because of their social awkwardness and general obliviousness to social cues they might not notice if something is wrong or someone needs help even if they would care if they did notice, or have enough confidence to act.
The character does display kindness to the people they are close to, demonstrating through their actions that they care about the well-being of their friends and family, show concern over the emotional state of others, and in some cases come off as desperate to please them. However, I've noticed this doesn't seem to make them come off as notably kind compared to anyone else, especially when in public their demeanor often comes across as icy and when their buttons are pressed they can be nasty and brutal (which is intended to be a character flaw), which seem to "cancel out" any otherwise empathetic behavior. They come across as "mostly nasty with a kind side" rather than "mostly kind with an occasional nasty side they don't like to acknowledge". The issue is that while "kind", "shy", and "socially awkward/oblivious" aren't contradictory personality traits, they latter two can easily mask the first in a way that makes it hard for the reader to pick up on.
The only other way I have noticed authors display a character's kindness is to show the character is kind to animals. While it fits with this character's personality, it also feels like a rather brazenly unsubtle attempt at gaining audience sympathy.
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: Re: Morals on Novels, is it appreciated to make sacrifices for the greater good? One of my MC's is a decision maker to turn the tides of war, the enemies have brought hostages, he tells the other
@Wetcircuit already phrased some of this very well, so I would just like to add another observation.
You make it sound like this is a wartime situation with soldiers. If so, what is the chain of command in the situation? Armies almost always have a chain of command for exactly this reason, so it is always clear who is in charge and has authority to make decisions in any given situation. From what you have given us, it sounds like the other MC is ranked higher than this character if they have to lie to the other main character and give the order to fire behind his back. By contrast, if the ruthless character were the one in charge, they could just say to the character who doesn't want casualties "I'm in charge, I'm doing it, deal with it".
If this is the case, that means the ruthless main character disobeyed a superior officer which is several more strikes against him in addition to the ones listed by @Wetcircuit . To put it another way, it goes back to the "to be Lawful or Good" dichotomy. People are more willing to accept characters who do bad things if it is seen as following the rules than someone who breaks the rules to do bad things. This is why you see soldiers rationalizing their actions as "just following orders". It doesn't excuse anyone's actions, but it isn't seen as much of a strike against their character. People are more willing to look the other way when people break the rules to do good things, because it shows the character cares and implies the rules were impeding a good outcome. If the roles were reversed and the caring MC went against the orders of the ruthless MC, the caring one would still be considered likable even if it ended poorly.
In this case, it's not just that the character did the ruthless, uncaring thing and got a bunch of innocent people killed, it's that he also potentially broke the rules to do so. If he really did break chain of command, especially if it got people killed, "realistically" he could be looking at at least a court-martial (or depending on how cruel your setting is an execution), even if it got results.
The biggest problem is probably this...
he orders to kill the enemies even if hitting the hostages
Usually in situations where an enemy has taken civilians hostage, even in cases where it's necessary to attack despite potential civilian losses, "realistically" the attacking force at least tries to avoid casualties, even if it's not possible to avoid killing any hostages. The wording of the order also makes it seem like killing the enemy is more important than the hostages' safety to the character. While people like that exist, as have cases through history where armies just haven't cared about what happens to hostages, none of them are considered very sympathetic or make good protagonist candidates.
If you want to make them sympathetic, at the very least show they are conflicted over the whole thing. The response of an average person, even a soldier, to a given situation is not to jump straight to killing.
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: How to correctly set up plot promises? The premises are the following: 1) First person POV (but advice for third person works too) 2) Protagonist-driven plot 3) Some backstory that hasn't been
The premises are the following:
1) First person POV (but advice for third person works too)
2) Protagonist-driven plot
3) Some backstory that hasn't been explored yet (and which ties into the MC motivation).
4) Multiple (convergent) plot threads introduced in sequence.
The inciting incident is the most used way to set up a plot promise. The event happens, it inconveniences the MC, and readers expect the plot is about addressing that inciting incident.
But how do you set up plot promises where the protagonist is driving the plot, without having them go at front stage and declaim their motivation to the readers? I, the MC, am trying to achieve this, because of reasons.
Moreover, say you actually had the MC doing that (more or less) but placed their aim and motivation more subtly among other stuff, so it's not glaring, and readers missed that it was a plot promise? It just happened to me that readers assumed certain scenes were character setup and not "really part of the plot". It was a big series of scenes, so the problem must've been that the plot promise and the MC motivation wasn't clear. Additionally, I am weaving several plot threads and this was the second introduced, so people were possibly too hung on the first open plot to accept a second one.
So what are my steps for troubleshooting? Do I move the motivation at the front of the chapter and strengthen it by making things harder/riskier? How do I avoid the MC outlining their motivation in first person not coming across as unsubtle telling?
I nailed a characteristic voice for the MC that's been received well, so I can fly a lot of stuff under the radar, but I dislike having to outright tell things.
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: Re: Alternative word for "she" I am writing about a female person. I noticed most of my sentences start with "she". Is there a way to avoid using this pronoun too many times, and use an alternative
you could use descriptive words like, The brunette, The shy girl, The freckled girl.
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: How to maximize reader comprehension if worldbuilding is complicated? Parts of my worldbuilding are critical to the plot. If readers don't understand the world, they won't understand the stakes
Parts of my worldbuilding are critical to the plot. If readers don't understand the world, they won't understand the stakes for the protagonist and the failure conditions.
Edit. Please don't assume this information is communicated as exposition. As I said, it's dramatized. But then again, one can't take endless pages to set up the plot before the plot even starts.
I need to make clear some parts of the world early in book to show what's at stake. The problem is that some readers seem to miss the explanation, which is split into bits and woven in and around dialogue. I dramatized these worldbuilding points, and when that didn't work, I actually summarized them in the protag's internal dialog 'oh, I see, so if I fail x I'm dead'. This technique of seeding bits of telling between the showing is recommended by editors to aid readers comprehension. Flew right past readers.
First example The Federation is a monopolistic oligarchy. If you have 1 groundbreaking innovation, it earns you a monopoly (e.g. if you make steam engines, no one is allowed to make steam engines with those parameters), and you can get Corporate Family status (which grants members legal immunity). If you have 2 such monopolies and over 10 billion market capitalization value, you can ask to join the Council of Primes (a CF leader is called Prime) that rules the Federation. In terms of decision making, it's like monarchy but with a council of variable size instead of 1 person. Much like you can gain CF status, you lose it if you can't guarantee your product (2 strikes and you're out) or if you go bankrupt. My protag is CF and takes a gamble. If they win, they become Prime, if they lose, they lose CF status, lose their legal immunity, and probably everyone will send assassins after them.
Second example In order to practice the magic, you have to become a sociopath. You take a course for it (it's a horrible course). This also generates the inability to grok human facial expressions. I explained this in dialogue to a trainee by illustrating sociopathic behavior (callousness, promiscuity) and then summarized into one sentence in internal monologue at the end of explanation 'this means sociopathy' (used the actual word). Some readers picked up on the inability to recognize expressions but took the sociopathy as a minor inconvenience.
How would you go about presenting/dramatizing this type of information to make sure readers get it and its exact magnitude?
Did you ever experience a similar situation with reader comprehension before, and how/why?
Are my problems because the worldbuilding is simply too complicated? It doesn't feel like rocket science to me. This stuff isn't new, only the way it's combined is. I purposely chosen terms that mean exactly what it says on the tin. The corporate stuff is what you find in cyberpunk, a dystopian extension of consumerism. Where am I going wrong?
I don't think there's a recipe for this situation so any advice, ideas, and life experience are welcome.
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: Re: I am trying to write a Shakespearean-style play, but my “ideas†are always something I remember from Hamlet? How does one come up with original ideas? Hamlet was amazing, but every time
This is what I've heard/learned:
Read a bunch of different kinds of material. You'll get your creativity stimulated and ideas will stir in your brain. You could also research things, or draw ideas - some other things to get your gears turning.
Every idea has been done before. You just have to put your own spin on an idea, or invert a trope to be original. There's only a certain number of colors in the world to choose from. Want to make orange, but somebody else has already created it? Just add a bit more of your yellow idea than they did, or maybe a bit of purple to make it yours (plot twist!). No big deal.
If an idea isn't working for you, set it aside and work on something else. You can let in "compost" and then it could grow into something crazy awesome with a bit of time and patience.
Personally, I say just write and have fun. If you aren't thinking about one specific type of idea, or a person you want to replicate (or a person you desperately don't want to replicate, for that matter), it's unlikely that you'll copy them.
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: Re: How to NOT get sad when writing I am writing historical fiction novel. Some parts are very sad. I am identifying with my characters to develop and write about them. How to move past the sadness
If you know that some terrible things are going to happen to your characters from the get-go, you can prevent yourself from getting too attached to them so you can write whatever you need to and not really care.
But if it's too late for that and/or you don't want to be that distant from your characters, I would say lean into it. Take the sadness you feel and translate it to the page, taking full advantage of your response. You'll probably write better. Then just have something more fun to write about after (it doesn't even have to be writing - just plan something lighthearted and enjoyable to do after you work on a scene that will lift your spirits).
Remember that it's in the past, and in the pages of a book (or on a screen). Plus, many horrific things have happened in history - but many good things have occurred as well. It would do well to remember both sides.
Good luck!
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: Re: How do I balance immature levity and flaws and character growth? I am working on a series where one of the intended primary draws is character drama and growth. I have an ensemble cast of
DISCLAIMER: I won't say tl;dr, but I will say Too long; I skimmed. Love your thoroughness though.
A few ideas of mine (take or leave):
You could spread out when each character has their "AHA" moment. Maybe one guy has improved himself fundamentally, but this only deepens the core flaw of his girlfriend because of their dynamic. She'll have to wait longer to fix herself.
You could also have a character overcome a core flaw, but then in its place (maybe as a result of that change) comes another issue they must deal with. More specifically, a character could go from one side of the spectrum to the other and have to find a happy middle ground where they can behave in a way that is healthy/right (pushover turns to arrogant ass from overcoming their fear).
You can mix and match with the different types of conflict (man vs man, man vs self, man vs nature, man vs society, man vs technology), having one flaw participate in several types of conflict, so that it takes a long time for the flaw to be resolved but it's still interesting to read (if you go deep and dirty enough, the readers should care enough to stick with the character's struggles through the end). If your flaw is showcased through social interactions, internal dialogue, societal norms, etc. and the difficulties change as the flaw is worked on, it would be believable enough to be enticing to read about. It's not like people either have a flaw or they don't - there is a gray period, like you touched on in a way in your question. Basically, you don't solve the issue quickly - you have it present itself in different ways and go all-in. Then you won't end up with perfect characters and no tension.
Side Note - adding a new character to the mix, therefore creating a new dynamic, could be a way to emphasize a character's problem and stir up disfunction. Maybe some characters go through their arcs quickly, coming in and out, and your core guys take longer.
Side Note 2 - developing bad habits could be perceived as backsliding, sure, but maybe those bad habits are a result of a coping mechanism for something. The bad habits could make one aspect of the character's life more difficult, but maybe they serve something else going on, or they contribute to the character hitting rock bottom. Because people only change when they hit a wall. "Regression" could actually be pushing the character to their worst, which they need to visit in order to be motivated to improve. You must get worse before you can get better. In this sense, backsliding is actually the character "always rising".
Side Note 3 - if you develop a backstory that is the cause of a flaw, then exploring that could most likely add depth to your character and give you more material to dive into, lengthening the whole thing (because it seems to me - and maybe I'm wrong - that you're worried about having a character arc not being long enough to span multiple books).
Hope this was of at least a bit of help. I'm no professional. Have fun with your bok (and for the record - I think character-driven stories are the best so good on you).
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: Re: How to avoid being overwhelmed by your stories when you write them When I am writing a very intense and dramatic scene, I often become overwhelmed by it and have to stop writing. Any tips
Feeling intensely while writing a scene is not a bad thing. If you don't feel strongly about an emotional scene, why should your readers? If anything, you should be asking if your writing does enough to evoke the feeling you hope your readers will share with you.
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: Re: How to avoid or mitigate heavy science lingo and "technobabble" in a science fiction story? Background I am currently working on a small science fiction story (as referenced in a previous question
"What is the best way to avoid or mitigate dense "technobabble" and scientific lingo in a science fiction setting..."
hszmv and Andrey both have great answers. I was also thinking that you could gloss over some of the stuff you consider to be babble and focus on the key features.
"...and make it easier on the reader in general?"
If you don't want to gloss over, and you want to show your protagonist doing their super-cool-smart-science-thing, then maybe you could use simpler terms for all of the gadget titles. I don't just mean "charged particles" instead of "ions". What about nicknames? You briefly introduce the technical device towards the beginning of the story (or whenever it becomes relevant), explain to the reader what it does, and coin a simple nickname that points to its function. Do that for a few of them, and the ones that matter will stand out and the reader will have a stronger connection to them. The others may not matter as much and could fade to the background.
"How should I explain a possibly unfamiliar science concept to a general reader in a way that's engaging to read?"
As for the engagement for the general reader, you could use metaphors or comparisons to show how things work. I'm no experienced writer or tech person, but I do know that metaphors can often click on figurative levels that stick with you better and that you can understand then the literal version.
Hope this is at least a bit helpful. Have fun with your sci-fi story.
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: Re: I have two story ideas and I want to know if they're similar enough to other books/movies to be copyright infringing Is a story about the Hindu gods being real inherently copyright infringing
Every idea in fiction has been used to some extent a bunch of times. I've thought of ideas and had them be in Percy Jackson specifically, actually, also (so I feel your pain).
Personally, I say you're fine. You reference Hindu gods, first of all, which, to my understanding, are very different from Greek, Egyptian, or any gods Rick Riordan has used in his books. He makes the gods interact directly with demigods and humans (kind of), and gives them senses of humor, makes them engage in petty arguments, etc. You could, hypothetically, involve the Hindu gods very differently. As long as you aren't basing anything off of something else, you can throw in your own flavor and make it original.
Same for your second idea - especially since 12 Monkeys' story relies heavily on time travel (god, that was a tripped-out movie...). And if you're really worried about it, maybe you could have someone read what you've written and see if they draw any direct parallels.
Your ideas sound cool. Good luck!
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: Re: Will naming a character Sindri make it too obvious that he isn't trustworthy? I am writing a middle-grade series where a character is introduced early on as a supporter of the protagonists.
There are multiple things you might consider, which could counter your theory of 'Sindri' being an obvious 'bad guy'... And that it's a bad thing.
1: 'Sin' isn't called sin in all languages, so a translation of your work would already make it less obvious - Unless, of course, people actually pay more attention to the English-sounding part of the name then...
2: It differs from one person to another if they mind suspecting a person of 'turning' or 'being evil' from the moment they're introduced. I've heard and read somewhere (sorry, no source this moment) that some people actually enjoy a movie/book more once they "know" what's gonna happen - I've yet to feel that way myself, though.
3: Having a character disagree with the protagonist's plans and motives is completely natural, even for characters 'on the same side' of the 'struggle'. I wouldn't assume that many people would predict it.
So, all in all, this is a case of 'your mileage may vary', meaning that not everyone will have the same opinion of it, and still, a lot of people might not notice it at all.
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: Re: How to write a drunk character slurring in speech Question for the English pros: I am working on a scene in my novel I am writing and have a question about the style of wording in a drunk
I think the elisions work better than the stuttering. Your "Whada hell you doin'?" is good. It's perfectly comprehensible and it gives the clear impression of someone speaking less than usually clearly (especially if the reader comes to expect from the wider context of your writing that the same character, when sober, would ask "What the hell are you doing?"). A bit of swearing is good, again on the general theme that Brock's drunkenness has generally made his character more extreme.
I see what you're trying to do with the stuttering, but it doesn't really sound convincing. I think the actual sentence is too lucid for the stuttering and slurring that's been overlaid on it. How does this sound?
"Boy, I know you! You da boxer, right? I'mma street fighter, I am." He leered at Yousif. "An' I'mma kick your ass!"
The actual thoughts Brock is trying to convey are simpler, drunken thoughts, and the sentence interposed in the middle suggests a bit of a pause, because even this level of communication is quite taxing for Brock in the very drunk state he's in.
(Your changed word "fighrer" doesn't sound right at all, it's not a natural relaxation from "fighter", it's a change. "Figh'er" might work, but on balance I'd just leave it as "fighter" and convey the deterioration in speech clarity elsewhere.)
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: Re: Adding conflict to a persuasion scene POV character, let’s call her Alpha, needs to get a feudal lord to rebel against the Empire. The lord doesn’t know there is support for the rebellion.
So Alpha lies and manipulates to trick the Lord into thinking one of the neighboring lords is trying to ruin him, and then she asks for his support? Does he know about this? Maybe it can be a possibility for him to figure it out during their conversation (if I am understanding you right).
You could also do the classic thing where everything is going smoothly and then OOPS - a bomb goes off in the distance (not actually a bomb, but you get the idea). Something urgent suddenly cuts off the conversation and Alpha's progress is put in jeopardy. They have to deal with that thing now.
Also, if you make it clear how vitally important it is for Alpha to get this lord's support, it will make the scene more of a nailbiter without adding more conflict. If Alpha fails in getting the lord's support, then _________ will happen, and that's bad because ________. Raising the stakes makes it more interesting to read (It could also be fun to make the lord difficult to convince, drawing out the persuasion to its breaking point. Maybe some character flaw of the lord stunts things - like he's not a trusting person, etc.). But if readers understand that this conversation is a tipping point for your story, the scene will have more value to them and things will seem more important.
[When it comes to getting inspiration, you could read more books, or get in the headspace of your characters, or check out Jenna Moreci on YouTube - I know that last one is random, but she's very helpful and has a variety of content to help writers]
Hope this helps. If not, then good luck!
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