: Is it a good writing practice to keep related elements as close as possible to each other? Here's an example: Not finding anything useful, I went to check the maple. Four times my size, it

Here's an example:

Not finding anything useful, I went to check the maple. Four times my size, it was the biggest
tree in the yard. I mean, it was. A typhoon tore it down three years
ago, and it had stayed like that ever since.
Not finding anything useful, I went to check the maple. Four times my size, it was the biggest
tree in the yard. I mean, it was. Three years ago a typhoon tore it down, and it had stayed like that ever since.

As you can see, the related elements are closer to each other in the second example. Does this make it read better than the first one? Is it good practice to always keep related elements as close as possible to each other?

Load Full (1)

: Is the word "becoming" being used correctly in the following metaphor? We kept going until we reached a door. Finally! The corridor was deeper than I thought, like a tunnel. Or the bottom

@Goswami879

Load Full 3 Comments

: Is replacing "this" with "a" allowed in fiction? Example: "Exploding whales?" My date stared at me as if I had given him some bad news. He'd taken me to this fancy Italian restaurant.

@Goswami879

Load Full 5 Comments

: Is it OK to use "I guess" in fiction? Example: I groaned. Why was I doing this? I guess I was afraid of losing him. Like it or not, he was my only guide right now. Does it sound

@Goswami879

Load Full 1 Comments

: "This" vs "that" in past tense narrative Here are some examples (first person past tense): "Well, goodby then." After saying this/that, he picked up his hat and ran out door. I

@Goswami879

Load Full 1 Comments

Login to post a comment!

1 Comments

Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best

@Debbie451

As long as the intervening text doesn't confuse any reference to the second element, you're okay. I wouldn't put the two items too far apart, but your first example is still perfectly clear.

Load Full (0)

Feed

: Is it a good writing practice to keep related elements as close as possible to each other? Here's an example: Not finding anything useful, I went to check the maple. Four times my size, it

More posts by @Goswami879

: Is the word "becoming" being used correctly in the following metaphor? We kept going until we reached a door. Finally! The corridor was deeper than I thought, like a tunnel. Or the bottom

: Is replacing "this" with "a" allowed in fiction? Example: "Exploding whales?" My date stared at me as if I had given him some bad news. He'd taken me to this fancy Italian restaurant.

: Is it OK to use "I guess" in fiction? Example: I groaned. Why was I doing this? I guess I was afraid of losing him. Like it or not, he was my only guide right now. Does it sound

: "This" vs "that" in past tense narrative Here are some examples (first person past tense): "Well, goodby then." After saying this/that, he picked up his hat and ran out door. I

Login to post a comment!

1 Comments

Back to top