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Topic : Re: Is the word "becoming" being used correctly in the following metaphor? We kept going until we reached a door. Finally! The corridor was deeper than I thought, like a tunnel. Or the bottom - selfpublishingguru.com

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Becoming works fine here, as a metaphor its valid enough and anything longer would bog down the prose. But I agree with Henry that out of context of other similar metaphors in your writing it could imply actual change, and distract the reader.

However, I believe that the suggested alternatives are too heavy handed and would only bog down the prose further; they're too formal.

Luckily I think you could just as easily remove it entirely, as you're describing how something looks, rather than what it's doing:

the bottom of the sea—shelves and scrolls the reef and algae that keeps the light from flooding in.

This approach simplifies the prose and stops the metaphor from implying actual change. (Note I've removed the leading the as well, to avoid confusion.)


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