: Re: Does my first paragraph grab your attention? I'm working on a new M/M romance novel about a guy who's trying out nudism and an experience nudist. Does my opening paragraph succeed in drawing
Fun idea. The professor's advice isn't the interesting part--get to the naked! I'd almost write your article in reverse.
My heart skipped a beat as I walked
past one of the signs proclaiming the
beach clothing-optional.
It sets up immediately the where and hints at the what. From there, you can get to the nerves, though I'd cut out the unnecessary freshman year detail:
My public speaking professor from
freshman year always told us to
picture our audience naked when we got
nervous. Well, apparently that doesn’t
work so well when they actually are
naked. When you're about to be
naked as well.
(I removed the "And" from the last sentence as well. If you're going to write a fragment sentence, then just do it. "And" seemed to dillute the impact.)
Then you can jump into the action.
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