: Re: Is there an objective way to determine that writing is "stilted and cluttered"? For question, see title. For example of supposedly "stilted and cluttered" writing, see below. The Constitutional

@Berumen699

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Strictly speaking, there is no objective way to determine if a bit of discourse is stilted and/or cluttered. However, this fact does not make the use of such terms arbitrary. In many communities and social groups, people share subjective judgments about a great many things.

For example, it is not, strictly speaking, objective to criticize the poor taste of attending a funeral while wearing neon plaid trousers and a black t-shirt whose chest logo depicts an animate turd saying "Your mother sucks!" However, this subjective judgment is shared by most people, so the criticism is not arbitrary, but fair.

By any fair assessment, the sample of prose you gave is stilted and cluttered. It does not follow the maxim of avoiding long words when shorter ones can convey the same meaning. It expresses comparatively simple ideas with needlessly complex syntax.

As an exercise, please read this re-working of your paragraph, and identify the ideas expressed in your original that are not expressed in my re-working. Your original phrases are italicized.

REWORKING:

Though the Constitution clearly prohibits political dynasties, there is no body of laws concerning the enforcement of this prohibition. Ideally, this principle should enforce itself, but its vagueness creates loopholes that favor [snip] well-entrenched political families.

Conscientious legislation could prevent political dynasties. However, since these clans are already represented in Congress, such legislation will never be written. Therefore the voters who want political reform should evaluate candidates by carefully studying their platforms. These are more objective indicators of the candidates' credibility and fitness to serve than popularity. Unfortunately, the poor education that comes with widespread poverty makes the masses gullible and unwilling to prioritize their long-term collective needs over their immediate necessities.

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