: Re: Chopped sentences with too many conjunction, and repeating the subject again and again I have tendency to write chopped sentences with too many conjunctions, repeating the subject again and again.

@Murphy332

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For a screenplay it is standard to use present tense, and to use simple present in most cases. It makes the action more immediate. So, instead of "are watching" you'd just say that they "watch". Or they gawk, or scan or consider or stare at -- whatever makes sense.

Use very specific nouns and verbs. Every word counts. You don't have many to work with.

So, for your example I might make it more succinct:

Hundreds of people in old clothes, their sweating faces encrusted with dust, watch the oncoming train.

Or you could go longer, but more specific (I'm making guesses here about what's actually happening and who these people are):

Hundreds of townspeople, their clothes ragged, their sweating faces encrusted with dust, watch the train as it rolls into the station.

Read as many screenplays as you can. You'll start to hear the particular rhythm, and begin to notice how language is used differently in screenplays.

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