: Re: How to describe pain in first person? (Made up character) Farrel jumps from his rambler house roof but lands horizontally and on his left arm. His left arms ulna snaps and pierces out of his

@Bryan361

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Welcome to the site, Bruce!

In this case, describing pain in the first is no different than doing it in the third person. The only difference would be that you would use 'I' rather than third person pronouns.

Therefore, what it looks like you're really after is how to describe pain in general. As far as being impaled on re-bar goes... well, I think we can scratch first-person accounts of how it felt. What you need to do is imagine how it would feel, and write that down, ignoring how it sounds at first.

Once the idea is there, go back and rewrite it, describing it using adjectives, adverbs, and verbs that compliment the experience. You want your reader to feel the pain the way your character does. For example:

Farrel's forward momentum came to an abrupt halt as he slammed into the re-bar. He felt the rough metal slice through his body, plunging through organs, ripping through skin, and shattering bones. A second later his face collided with the hard concrete the re-bar was buried in, smashing his nose. He could feel the vibration of it shudder all the way through his body, which only made the pain ten times worse.

Note the descriptive verbs I use: slammed, plunging, ripping, shattering, collided, etc. I wouldn't, for example, use such words as arrive, land, connect, etc. because they aren't as vivid. The words I used help to convey the feeling of the pain to the reader.

Hopefully this is what you were looking for.

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