: Re: How can I keep secret a major detail known to the POV protagonist? How do you write a story where the point-of-view character knows something, but you want to keep it a secret from the reader

@Lengel543

Vote Up Vote Down

I think it is possible to pull this kind of thing off. In this particular instance the intriguing idea of keeping their relationship secret for a while would obviously change what details, memories, etc. you can delve into during inactive periods, but if done right this could lend a strong hand to grabbing the reader's interest sometime in the middle or end of the plot, as well as possibly adding an element of mystery in the meantime.

As far as how dialogue and thoughts go, I think that will come fairly naturally; you might relax a bit on the title of Prince once the reader is familiar with his position. If you think about yourself in this position (even were he unrelated to you), would you always think of relieving "The Prince"? Wouldn't it be, "Prince Henry" to the supporting cast, and "Henry" between the brothers? (If they are risking their lives trying to help Prince Henry Walter, they likely know which Henry is being referred to.) The one hard thing might be if they shared a common last name. (Perhaps this could be skirted by the travellers using falsified names to promote their safety on the journey.)

If they shared a common childhood, fond memories could easily be like those of good childhood friends so commonly depicted in novels. You don't ever talk to your siblings about "your brother John", they all know who you're talking about when you say "John", and you always think of him simply as "John" (supposing, of course, that you have a brother named John). Having these two blokes be of high enough position to have at least interacted somewhat with him shouldn't incite any suspicion.

If they've never met, perhaps they are experiencing the anticipation of wondering what he will be like. They believe that they hold a key that will be vital to his release, and who would question their intention? If they released the prince, who knows how lavish the rewards could be? But what if they don't succeed? What if he is ungrateful for his release? What if this? What if that? What ifs may just keep them up some nights and seemingly nearly deter them from their purpose.

Their relation could be withheld from the knowledge of acquaintances without suspicion for a while, perhaps indefinitely. But perhaps someone essential to their goal (and maybe someone they don't entirely trust) demands to know exactly why he is of such interest to them, and what they have/know that others don't. During a breathless moment of anxious indecision, one of the brothers states desperately, "He is our Brother!" And if you're really cruel, knowing that this information will intrigue the reader, the chapter will end and the scene will change to the captors. Thus, the reader will go on through another chapter before turning the lights off for the night and still be in suspense through the next day. Or, maybe they don't yet know that they are related...

(0)

Login to post a comment!